A/N: Gah. I've been having horrendous writer's block. I've been meaning to write more to this, but nothing has been coming. I promise I'll develop the plot further. Sometime...

The next day the doctor came into Aya's room, carrying a clipboard. "All your tests came back negative. You seem to have no abnormalities, and everything is firing on all cylinders. I have scheduled for you to see a psychiatrist. In the meanwhile, we are releasing you. You are free to call someone to pick you up."

Aya didn't look up once. She sat up, staring at her hands the whole time. She knew nothing was wrong with her and the news didn't bring any surprise. Once the doctor left she picked up the phone at her bedside. She bit her lip and tried to decide who to call. She could call any of her co workers, and they'd be there in a snap. She sighed. Finally she dialed. "Hey, uh, Damon. I'm in the hospital right now."

"What?!?! What happened?"

"Calm down. I'm being signed out today. I just need someone to come pick me up. I was just wondering if you could come pick me up." Aya explained, keeping her voice even.

"Yeah, I'll be over there in a little bit. Hang tight and explain to me why you were in the hospital, alright?"

Aya nodded, then realized that he couldn't see her. "Yeah. Promise." She sighed. "I hope I'm not making you miss work."

"I'll see you in a bit." He replied, ignoring Aya's statement.

The bland sound of the dial tone invaded Aya's ears. She sighed and hung up.
------
"Alright, so, really. What happened? You seem ok. No bruises or cuts. No casts... and nothing seems swollen." Damon said, sitting in front of the wheel, getting ready to start the car.

Aya closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. "You remember when you came over to my house and saw those figurines, right? Well.... when I got those figurines, I also got a diary. The next day, when I got home.... my apartment was broken into and someone stole the diary. I cleaned up and I was on my way to work. However, on my way I guess I fainted on the sidewalk or something, because the next thing I know I'm in the hospital." She explained, cutting out the most glaring reasons.

There was a long awkward silence. "Oh." Damon finally said. "Well I'm glad you're alright." He answered finally.

"Yeah.... me too." She answered back, quietly. Aya looked down and fiddled with the hem of her shirt. "Thanks for picking me up."

"No problem."

The awkward air was back, and the rest of the trip was made in silence. Damon soon pulled up to Aya's apartment. "Well... here we are. Take it easy." He looked at Aya, "And I mean it. No more landing in the hospital or strange behavior. Something just isn't right. It hasn't been ever since the day we all hung out."

Aya bit her lip. "I was going to save this for Saturday but... I guess now is a good time. You should go find a parking space.... and then head up to my apartment. There's some stuff you should know..." She trailed off, not sure if she was doing the right thing.

"I'll drop by tonight. I actually have some other plans. I promise I'll come by."

Aya just nodded. "Alright." She nodded, and got out of the car. "Bye." She thanked him again for the ride and close the door.

And writer's block is over :)

Aya awoke to the faint sound of beeping. Her bleary vision was soon sharpened and she saw the speckled tile of a hospital ceiling. She let out a soft groan. Movement was out of the question, though. To Aya, her limbs felt like lead. From the tips of her fingers all the way down. She opened her mouth to call for a nurse but the noise got stuck in her throat.

Slowly her vision fazed out again, but her hearing was alert. Low hushed voices were arguing with each other.

"You fool! You let her go. You failed your mission. The one chance we had you mess up. Master will not be happy with you."

"What if I do it now?"

"Wouldn't they notice the body disappear?"

"Oh." A pause. "I messed up big time. What do we tell him?"

"We? You. And whatever you want. You are the one he gave this mission to. Tell him what happened and maybe he'll give you credit for at least injuring her."

"We have to do something about that guy though. If it wasn't for him, she would be dead!"

Hearing this, Aya's eyes snapped open and her heart began to go into overdrive. She somehow found the strength to ball her hands into fists. The voices faded away as the nurses rushed in.

Whatever orders they barked at each other, Aya had no idea. They were garbled and mushed together. However, she was sure she saw panic in the eyes of at least one of the nurses. That was the last thing she saw. The gray ceiling tiles became unfocused and blacked out.

It felt like hours, but Aya awoke after a few moments. The soft beeping was back to a regular pace and nothing hurt. She let out a soft groan, wishing this ordeal was over already. She opened her eyes and saw a man that she assumed was her doctor.

"Aya?" the gentle male voice asked while placing a warm hand on her arm. "Aya. If you can hear me, blink."

She complied, stiffly moving her eyelids, making it obvious it was blinking.

"Good, good. Do you think you can speak?"

Aya opened her mouth and choked out a faint "yes".

"Just listen carefully now. We are going to have to run some tests on your heart. Is there any history of heart conditions in your family?"

She thought back as far as she could go. Weakly she shook her head.

"No one? Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents?" The doctor implored further.

"No."

He sighed. "Alright then. We will get you prepped and ready to go shortly." He told her and left.

Sure enough, only moments after settling down, she was being wheeled away. Aya didn't bother asking what they were going to do. As long as it was going to help them find out what was wrong with her, and get her out she was fine with it.

"Ok, first we are going to do an echo-cardiogram, just to get a picture of your heart. It'll let us see if anything is abnormal." The doctor explained. "Now this may feel a little funny." He warned.

Aya just grimaced at the cold. However, she dealt with it and began to think about how she was going to get out of solving this mystery. It was dangerous. I'm in the hospital for goodness sake! She thought.

The flow to the next test was so seamless, Aya barely noticed. However, she was snapped out of her own thoughts when Arias appeared at her side. "I just can't leave you alone!" He exclaimed.

"It's not MY fault." She argued back without thinking.

"You are so frustrating. Do you think I want to be by your side the whole entire time? You are so pathetic. You can't even walk to work without being hurt." He went on, exasperated.

"I said it wasn't my fault!" She cried.

"Of course it wasn't your fault. You miss the most obvious signs. You can't even call for help. What am I supposed to do with you?"

"Just leave me then. I don't even want to do this. I'm doing it for you. Do you think I want to deal with you all the time?"

"Unless you or the tailor dies, I'm by your side." He spat out.

"Why don't you just kill him then?"

"Oh yes, a ghost that can only be seen by one person beating a wizard that has practiced dark magic for centuries. Great idea."

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

"You are supposed to find his weak spot and exploit it. But you can't even do that. So why do I even have hope for you?" He rolled his eyes and sighed. "I would rather walk the earth forever."

"Well I'm not a big fan of your sarcastic attitude anyway. Just leave me alone." She stated simply.

With no words, Arias turned on his heel and walked out. She turned at looked at her doctor. Suddenly, everything snapped together. "Please please please don't make me go into psychology department. I promise you I'm not crazy."

He just raised his eyebrows skeptically. "Right."

Just Us (poem)

I patiently wait
For your name
To flicker on
To brighten my day
To hold me close
And tell me
All that I deny

I look back
On the words we exchanged
My heart beating a little faster
The blood rising to my cheeks
I push back reality

Distance and time
Don't belong
It's just us
Here and now

Just a little bit faster
Just a little bit sweeter
Just a little more

Hand in hand
Knowing the limits
Forever here and now

It's just us

I so need a title for this

No one heard the bloodcurdling scream Aya swore she let out. Her fists clenched so tightly that she could have drawn blood. Her face said it all. Those jerks. Why the hell did they leave the door open? Did they want everyone to know I've been robbed?

She floated forward into the apartment. The living room was an absolute wreck. It was almost like a martial arts battle took place, and they didn't bother cleaning up. Aya felt ready to cry. It was all about the mystery, she knew it.

A hand gently settled on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry. If I could help you, I really would."

Aya looked back into Arias' blue eyes, that for once did not give her a heart attack. "Thanks." She managed to choke out.

After a few deep breaths, Aya mustered up enough courage to go rifling through all her belongings in the living room. Certainly nothing was missing. All the figures were there, the medical journal had all its pages. The picture was a little worse for wear, having been thrown to the floor (or so it looked). The frame was only a little cracked. Aya was kneeling on the floor, staring at it.

"Is that... that's our wedding picture." Arias said slowly when he realized what Aya was holding. "Can... can I hold it?" He offered out his hand to take away the burden. Aya gave it slowly, not wanting it to drop again. She pushed herself off the floor.

"They wanted something. Something specific. There's so many valuable things..." She glanced around. "Maybe..." She rushed off to her bedroom. She came back moments later. "The diary. They, whoever they are, took it. That's what they were looking for."

Arias sighed, and put down the picture. "I suppose we both know who did this. It was the tailor." He said simply, all sympathy in his voice gone in an instant. "Even less for you to work with. You've got to know how to defeat this guy. Start reading the medical book. Maybe it might have something."

Aya sighed deeply. "How much longer until I return to normal?" She asked, looking at the ground.

"Still have a little while yet. Imagine having to be like this for eternity. It's really not as fun as everyone thinks it'll be."

"It's been a long day. Could I be left alone?" Aya asked, rubbing her forehead.

Arias simply nodded. "I'll close the door on my way out." He stated simply and was gone.

She stood for moments after, shocked. This was really not something she wanted to get into. Why the heck did she have to get drawn into this? Aya practically felt tears forming.

"It's alright. I'm not going to cry. I'm not." She assured herself as she sniffed back the tears. Sighing, Aya gathered all the items and threw them back into the box they came in. Aya sighed, looking at everything in the box. It was almost like the day she received it. It seemed so long ago. It pained her slightly to close the box, but she knew it had to be done. There was absolutely nor reason she had to continue. "I'm sorry." Aya said and then kicked it into a corner.

By the time she saw the clock, Aya was so used to floating. She pushed away a lock of hair that managed to hang in front of her eye. Suddenly, Aya realized gravity had taken back its hold on her. "Time to go to work." She muttered.

Aya slung on her purse and began her short walk to the office. Knowing what happened last time, she glanced around often. Now she had no protector.

"Where's your beloved guardian now?" A light voice whispered directly to Aya.

She shuddered but moved forward. Ignore it. That's all you have to do. Ignore it.

"I see I'm not good enough for you. Well this time. I won't fail." The voice snarled.

Aya gasped as a sickening familiar feeling came back. "No!" a small cry gurgled out.

Ok, so I promise I've been working on my story. I'm just having writer's block. D:. It sucks hardcore because it's something I've been looking forward to writing. Oh well. Anyhow, I've been writing a little bit of poetry. One of my latest creations:

The yellowed pages
Of memories fly past
By and by in a blur
A mass of nothing

The bright summer sun
Fades
To the endless winter nights

Endless stars
Endless wishes
A never ending list
Of what I hoped

Hands folded in prayer
Knowing it's hopeless
The unspoken goodbyes
Ringing loudly in my ears

Standing tall
Facing the world
Shedding tears
Only in silence

Unspoken goodbyes
Ring loudly in my ears
I wish they weren't there
Taunting me forever

My mystery story is baaaack!

"You should've been keeping a closer eye on me!" Aya protested.

"Shhh!" The man covered Aya's mouth. "Not so loud!" He whispered sharply in her ear. "Anyhow, it's not my job to protect you. I just have to show you what you are too blind to see."

Aya glared at the man. She frowned and kept following. "But why you? Couldn't they send someone nicer?"

"They? You think someone sent me? You think there's a person above me." He shook his head and Aya swore he was laughing. "Oh my. I wasn't sent by anyone. It's my destiny. It's what I have to do. I have no choice. My spirit was condemned to this."

Aya felt her eyes widen. "You... you're.... dead?" She asked, her voice barely carried above a whisper.

The man looked appalled. "Of course. You thought I was real?"

Aya just grimaced. "No... I just thought that..." She sighed. "I just thought that you were maybe like.. magic or something." She felt her face turn red.

"Oh my." He sighed and rubbed his temples. "This is going to be a long one." he muttered. "You have a lot to learn." He stated simply.

Aya bit her lip and glanced down at the ground.

The man sighed. "Alright. Come on. Lets go." His phantom hand reached and grabbed Aya by the arm.

"If you're dead, how can you touch me?" She asked, looking at her arm.

"It's a horribly long explanation. I'll tell you sometime later... after this is over. If you want to talk to me afterward."

Aya sighed heavily. "Fine. Though at this rate I think I can't wait to be done with this so I can be done with you." She said, stating her opinion simply.

"You are not the only one." The man said and dragged Aya forward.

Moments passed as Aya felt herself being pulled forward. She passed by the crowd, feeling like this walk was taking months. The people she passed on the sidewalk held no recognition of the man that was pulling her ahead. She bit her lip and opened her mouth. She then shut it, not wanting to sound like an idiot. She inhaled sharply and opened her mouth again. "So.. uhm... how exactly did you die?" Aya asked quietly, so she didn't look silly talking to herself in a crowded sidewalk.

"Well, you see..." He glanced back at Aya then forward again. He grasped firmly on Aya's arm and brought her close to a building. Aya recognized it as the one that belong to the tailor Kayin had brought her to. "Now, On the count of three you may feel something different. Don't freak out. This is my intention. In about... oh... two hours or so you should be fine." He closed his eyes and sighed. "One... two... and three."

And with a snap of a finger, Aya felt her weight shift upwards. She raised up her hands, an awful weight seeming to keep them down. "Is this what you feel like?" She asked.

"Most of the time. But I'm used to it I suppose." He said. "Now, come, look inside." He motioned to the window. Aya leaned in closer with the man. Inside, the tailor's store was much different from how it was the day before. The carefully placed bolts of fabric were gone, and the shelves where lined with bottles of various sizes. Aya saw the man leaning over his counter, the dress spread out. Aya squinted to see further. She thought she saw his lips moving, but couldn't be sure.

Aya backed away. "What... what is he doing?"

"The same thing he did to my wife." The man stated simply.

"You mean...?" Aya's eyes grew wide. "He.... is he the one that did it? Way back when?"

The man shrugged. "I wouldn't know. Dark magic users tend to pass down their secrets, but they can live to be very old. It takes much skill to accomplish what they want. It could be the very same that cursed my wife, or it could be he's practicing what has been passed down through generations."

Aya furrowed her brows. "Should I warn my friend?"

"Would she believe you?"

She sighed and shook her head, "No way."

"Then don't tell her." He stated simply. "Anyway, now you see what you have to work with. Lets go home and I'll tell you about how I died. Deal?"

Aya was slightly taken back at the man's kindness all of a sudden. "Yeah, sure." She said quietly, thinking about what she could do for her friend.

"Alright, so we had just married. What she never knew was that I was often using opium. Now, that's a bad secret to keep from my wife, but I was going to tell her soon. However... I never had the chance." The man sighed. "Now, I always made sure I wasn't going to die on an overdose, and I kept that promise until I died. However..." He broke off. "Because it was a bustling city, and I wasn't used to it, and I wasn't in the right frame of mind." The man closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "I just have to say, at least it was over quickly."

"What happened?" Aya urged as they walked back to her apartment.

"I walked out in front of a horse and carriage and I got run over." He stated simply, the hardness in his face and voice back.

"Oh." She stated simply. "I... I'm sorry. That's a horrible way to go."

"It's my own fault anyway. I don't need anyone to be sorry for me." He snapped back.

Do you remember
The first time our eyes locked?
I do.
An electric spark
Shocked my heart
Into love.

Your face smiled
I quickly looked away
Too embarrassed to be
Found out.
Roses quickly appeared
On my cheeks.

A butterfly gently landed
Reassuring me,
It was ok.
I couldn't help
But to caress the beauty.

Do you remember
The first time we kissed?
I do.
Magnetic pulses
Pulled us closer.

Your crystal ocean eyes
Begged and pleaded
For the moment to last
Forever.
I wish it could.

Apple lips
So intoxicating.
Giving me a high,
Better than heroine.

Do you remember
The first time I comforted you?
I do.
Tense times
Drove us closer.

Tears came gushing
Worse than waterfalls.
Not even I
Could put you back together.

The puzzle of your heart
Was left unfinished.
Forever missing
One piece.

I could handle no more.
With footsteps in the sand
And flowers at the altar,
I say goodbye.

My loving heart,
Dormant once more.
Cold as stone,
Waiting.

Untitled(s)

1.
Falling back
To hit the bed
But it never connects

Floating.
Weightless.
The black ink runs
Bleeding through lines.

Not a sight to be seen
Not a sound to be heard

Blazing flames
Leap to lick my palms
I wish I could grimace
But my limbs
Encased in ice
Refuse to melt

I want to scream
Just to be sure
But the ink thickens
I'm inhaling a vanilla milkshake
It's taking over my lungs
Stealing away
Until my
Last
Breath

Dropping with a
Thump
Needles poke and prod
The pain sends panic
Thoughts are sprinting
If only I could see
What this ebony sheet doesn't
Permit

Limbs made of concrete
Refuse to move
Muscles of rubber
Too weak
Nerves too perceiving
Of pain

Hostile hands
Push me back
Holding me prisoner
In this silent abyss

Why me? I want to yell
All I wanted was to sleep!
I strain to even whimper

2.
Dark
Empty
Void
With no glimmer of light
No chance of seeing
Never able to feel
Discovery happens by chance
Stumbling around
Never sure if the end
Is ever close
Afraid
Of what might be
Found

3.
Tick. Tock. Tick.
Counting the time
Stuck in these four falls
Tick. Tock. Tick.
Deafening silence
Not so golden
More like a lead
Weight
Tick. Tock. Tick.
Defeated by the clock

4.
I feel my heels burning
Running from all the memories
That we created
All those years of yearning
Have just deflated

Passing through cities
Just to get away
Begin haunted by all the pretties

Without turning
For a second look
Memories of you
Only gone halfway

All I pursue
Is hated
By all I took
Without discerning

5.
Greedy hands
Clamor for more
Their sticky sweet touch
Sickens me

Poetry!

Alright, so I decided that I needed a place to dump my poetry. I'll be posting a few here and there for the next.... while. Completed, uncompleted, dark, funny, 'wtf' and the such.

Completed;
Essence

The essence of life
All it contains
Is a pinch of strife
And great monsoon rains

Using clear blue skies
For kite flying
Having bittersweet goodbyes
Without really trying

Adrenaline rushes
With butterfly nerves
Big rosy blushes
And strawberry preserves

Late night revelations
Early morning cartoons
Holding onto expectations
In verbal typhoons

All crammed into
One little vile
That we pursue
All the while

Hope

Stuck
In a dark room
With no light
Ever seeping through

It's eternally midnight
The stars are too shy
The moon too angry
To show

Velvet curtains
Too heavy to move
Block my way

I try and try
With all my might
To remember the flame

The flame that you gave me
The night before
The darkness

I feel the heat
Climbing
Touching the tips
Of my fingers

I feel a movement
Muscles stretching
Inactive until now
A smile.

Maybe there is
Hope

Memories

Wiping the blood
From my face
Holding my aching head
Fighting back
The impending doom

Lying back
Avoiding the inky tunnel
That takes away
Feeling

Cringing at every move
Tears making trails
Down my cheeks

Wheeled in
Pins and needles
Doom raining down

Tears making rivers
Guilt washing up
Fear bubbling over

The nap I wanted
Finally comes
Everything changed

Doom is no longer
On the horizon
Relief washes over

The ordeal
Has just begun.

Moving On

This prison holds me
Never wishing
To let me go
For, my release
Means letting go

Letting go
Moving on
Forgetting all of this
Even happened

It's time let go
Of the final piece
The one that you gave
To complete the puzzle

Letting go
Truly means
Moving on

The days I spent
Before you
Are long gone
The days after
That fateful one
Are marked
And I'm running out of
Room

I'm stuck
In this drying cement
With nowhere to go
I'd rather stay here
And admire the view

Even the dark clouds
Can't muddy the scene
The beautiful memories
Will stay that way

I'm surrounded by the lies
I've been told
The piece you gave slips
The scene is dying

One last time I give it a
Chance
But, I have to let go
I have to move on

Letting go
Truly means
Moving on

A/N: Yeah... so there's this thing called a life. I magically got one, so I wasn't able to write for a long time. Here's a little bit more, it's not much but it'll do, I guess.

Aya woke up and shuffled into her kitchen in a half-zombie state. As she prepared her breakfast, a simple bowl of cereal, a post-it note dropped off the fridge. "I must say, you are a gullible little lass. But very peaceful looking when you sleep. Don't get too caught up in the other affairs of your life. That man you were with last night..." Aya bit her lip and tore up the note. She finished making her breakfast, and tried not to think about the guy who was haunting her. She did fairly well, until she was washing out her bowl.

"I think now is a good time." A voice said behind her. Aya jumped and set the bowl and spoon clattering in the sink.

"Would it kill you to at least give me a little warning? If you keeping popping in on me like this, I'll have a heart attack eventually!"

"Only the first time would give you a heart attack, and, as far as I'm concerned, you did not. You'll get used to it eventually. It's not that big of a deal." He replied coolly.

Aya turned and glared, "Whatever. What do you want? I can't waste time dealing with your attitude.

"Go, put on something..." He paused to look at what Aya was wearing, "Sensible." He added with a tone of disgust. "You need to see something."

Aya gave an ice-cold glare and went off to do as he said. All the time wondering what she was going to be doing. A knot of nerves began to form. She really didn't trust him, not yet.

"Alright, where do you want to take me? What am I supposed to see?" She asked after she got ready.

"Oh, you'll see. Just follow me." He replied and started out the door.

With a slight sigh, Aya complied. She closed the door behind her and followed this strange man. She kept her eyes on the ghostly man in front of her, following in a trance. There was only a slight recognition of the path, even though it was used nearly everyday. Out of nowhere, she felt hands grab her shoulders. Frightened, Ay froze. She could practically feel the hands go through her. They felt frantic, touching everything. They were searching for something, she could tell. The hands grasped onto her throat. With satisfaction, they squeezed.

Aya let out a gasp as her own hands flew to clutch her throat. She scanned the crowd, trying to find someone who would help. Her "friend" was starting to get smaller. "Help" she cried weakly. Giving up, Aya closed her eyes.

It seemed like an eternity before she felt the hands loosen. Before she could even register her new found ability to breathe, another hand roughly grabbed her wrist and pulled her. Aya fluttered open her eyes. "Explain what the heck that was. What happened?" Aya demanded.

Cold blue eyes stared back at her. "You should be grateful. You would have died and no one would have noticed. They would never be able to find your body. It would be like you just disappeared. Now, we wouldn't want that, right?" He added the lst part sweetly, contrasting his bitter tone.

Some more....

"I hear we're going to get a big project soon." Damon added in. A chorus of groans and 'boo's followed. "What? No one cares about work anymore?" he joked.

"Not while we're on our night together, outside of that dingy building." Dessa retaliated.

The rest of the playful banter was washed into the background to Aya. She was scanning the crowd, looking at all the groups of people together. Her eyes settled on one lone man, a dark pool in the otherwise colorful scene. As if in a trance, she slid off her seat and made her way over to the man.

When Aya was only a few paces away the stranger looked up and into her eyes. She took a sharp breath in. She was met with brilliant blue eyes and a face so pale it couldn't be healthy. Aya had to blink a few times to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. "Who are you?" She asked slowly and deliberately.

The figure opened his mouth, and paused for a second, unsure. "I can't tell you. In fact, I shouldn't even be here. I'll find you later." He said and vanished.

Aya was left standing there, utterly confused. She let out a frustrated sigh. "Why? Seriously." She muttered and walked back to her seat. As if just working through the clues wasn't enough, she had to have disappearing people. Aya settled back down in her seat and tried to focus on her friends. Hopefully they didn't notice her slight disappearance.

Through the evening, Aya struggled to put the disappearing man away from center stage in her mind. However, once she did, the rest of the night was a breeze. In fact, most of her problems with this mystery got pushed back.

"You know, tonight was amazing." Aya gushed to Damon. The get-together was over and every decided to split. However, Damon figured this was the best time to get closer.

"It was, but you seemed a little distracted." He commented.

"It's a long story, really. You could ask Nia about it sometime. She knows whats up." Aya got out her key and opened the door to her apartment. "Come on in."

Damon followed her in and closed the door behind himself. "Thanks. It's a nice place you've got." He said, making his way through.

Aya nodded a thanks, "You can go ahead and sit down." She motioned. "Do you want something to drink, eat?" Aya asked, already in the kitchen, getting ready to make some tea.

"Hmm? Oh yeah, just give me a cup of what you're having." He answered somewhat distantly. He noticed the objects lined on the coffee table, and was fixated on them.

Moments later, Aya handed him a cup of tea. "Here you go." She took a sip of her own. "That's part of why I was distracted tonight." Aya added, nodding toward the stuff on her table. She settled down on the couch next to Damon. "Like I said, it's a long story."

Damon nodded and took a sip. "It seems like it'd be a very enjoyable story. I'd like to hear it sometime." He took in a deep breath, "Would you like to tell it to me this Saturday, maybe over some coffee?"

Aya smiled, "Yeah, sure. Around one maybe?"

"Sounds great." Damon smiled back. He tried to stifle a yawn, but didn't succeed. "It's getting late. I think I'll head home and I'll see you tomorrow at work." He added, putting his half finished cup down.

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow." Aya said goodbye and closed the door. She turned around and was met with those blue eyes she could never forget. She jumped back, startled.

"Finally. I thought he'd never leave."

"Who are you?" Aya asked, sharply and impatiently.

"Like I said before, I can't tell you." He said, heading towards the living room. "It really is a shame that a pretty girl like you isn't taking this challenge seriously."

"What do you mean? Of course I'm taking it seriously!" Aya protested,
following. She didn't trust this guy one bit.

"Hmm. If you say so." He picked up the penguin figurine.

"What are you doing? Put that down!"

"Very well," He obeyed. "I don't suppose you know where your friend is, do

you?"

Aya felt confused. "It's late, she's probably at home. Where you should be,
too." She added the last part with force.

"Oh, I don't have a home, silly. However, if you so wish, I shall leave you alone."

"Yes. Go. Leave." She replied bitterly. And with that, he was gone. Aya let out a sigh and decided the night had gone on long enough. From the second she crawled into bed, sleep washed over her.

Uhhh

"Hey Aya! Glad you could make it!" A co-worker said. "We thought you wouldn't show. It's amazing, you are almost never late."

"I know. I just got a little... distracted. That's all." She gave a shrug and a shy smile. "I hope I didn't miss anything." Aya added on.

"Nah." The same co-worker shook her head. "Just Isaac and Dessa making things lively, Marcus and Damon talking about last night's game... and then there's you and me. Nothing unusual, really."

Aya nodded. "Alright. that's great. I've just been so caught up in things, lately." She sighed.

"Does any of this have to do with what you asked me earlier?"

"Yes, Nia. It does. It's... complicated, really."

Nia patted the seat next to her. "I've got time. Tell me about it."

"Alright." Aya agreed and sat down. "So, after work was over I went back home and looked through this diary I was sent. It... it came with that little riddle I asked you earlier. I wanted to see if there was anything that could help me. I wasn't really sure where to start. I figured I might as well just go into it.

"From reading the first few entries, I got to know her. At the time she started writing, she was fifteen. Unlike most girls her age, she hated being prim and proper. Cameras and photography was starting to grow. She loved working in her father's shop. She also wrote some things about liking this one boy that often stopped by. Now, I'm pretty sure she liked him. That might be just about the only girly thing about her." Aya explained, thinking back to all that she had read.

"Anyway, she was the oldest of four children. Her parents were very strict on her, almost border lining abusive. I can't count how many times I was scared for her life. I skipped a few years ahead, and life seemed to either get a little better or she was withholding information. She worked in her father's store more often, and was very restless with her life. One day, I guess her parents had enough.

"They set her up to get married. The moment she heard about this, however, she packed up her bags and ran off. She wasn't going to get married on her parents' terms. She doesn't write anything about being followed by them, but I'm sure that was always at the back of her mind. About a year or so later, maybe a bit less, she runs into that boy she used to always see. I'm pretty sure you can image what happened from then." Aya said.

"They... they got married." Nia stated, still in slight disbelief.

"That's right. In fact, it was in this very city. She wrote about how she wanted at least something traditional about her wedding. So, she went and found a wedding dress. She couldn't afford it at the time, so she had to work for the tailor that made the dress for some years after her marriage."

"Wait, how do you know it was in this city?"

"I met the descendant of the tailor that made the dress." Aya stated simply.

Nia just stared. "Wow. Um... ok then. I won't argue with that."

"Ok, that might be a lie, but I saw the dress. Anyway. After many years of working with the tailor, she realized something. He wasn't normal. She noticed eerie things going on in this shop. Finally, she pieced it together. He was a practicer of dark magic. Immediately, she was afraid for her life. But... she realized it was too late. Whatever curse bound her would stay bound until her life ended. The night of her epiphany, her husband was killed. She didn't specify how, but it happened."

"Wow. Way to add insult to injury." Nia commented.

"I know. By the time I had gotten that far, I realized I was going to be late coming here. I had to tear myself away from the diary. I really did. So, I have an outline of her tragic life, but I don't know how it ends, or some of the stuff in the middle. She lived a sad life, no doubt."

The two sat in silence, letting the information settle. Aya let her mind trail to the flier she found that started it all.

"Hey Aya. What's up?" Isaac asked, and settled down on the seat next to her.

"We haven't seen you here in awhile." Dessa added.

"Oh, I've just been... busy is all." Aya lied. She wondered when the last time she hung out with her co-workers was. At least a month ago. But what HAD she been doing on those nights? She mentally shrugged it off.
-
A/N: I would've worked on this more, but I'm changing locations soon, sooo... I just had to put this up. It's rough, but... it works.

Chapter Two, Part two

She placed her hands on one bolt of fabric. "Don't touch anything!" the tailor immediately yelled. Frightened, Aya pulled her hands away and put them behind her back. She could hear the tailor grumble.

"Alright, Aya. Why don't we go out for lunch?" Kayin said, linking her arms with her friends'.

Aya smiled, "Sure. I hear that new restaurant down by the aquarium has some good stuff. Why don't we go there?" She suggested.

"Why not?" Kayin agreed.

A short cab ride later, and the girls were settling down into their seats. "Would either of you ladies like something to drink?" Their waiter asked.

"Just water for me." Kayin said, not even looking at the menu.

"Uh, some lemonade for me, please." Aya said, avoiding eye contact.

"Alright, I'll be back shortly to take your orders." The waiter answered, and left to go get their drinks.

"So, Kayin, how did you end up with that tailor?" Aya asked, looking through the menu. "He kinda gives me the creeps." She added an over dramatic shudder to prove her point.

"Funny story, really. I was looking at some of the more commercial stores, but nothing seemed to fit my tastes. I figured I might as well try some lesser taken routes and look at tailors. When I went to go see him, he pulled out that magnificent dress. I fell in love with it the moment I saw it." She explained.

"Didn't it strike you as odd that he had a dress lying around? Especially one that was your size? Or at least, close to your size."

"At first, I didn't think anything of it. I was just so happy. But, a few days later, I was wondering. I never asked him in case maybe the dress was well... you know, his wife's or whatever. I didn't want to ask in case it would bring up painful memories."

"Oh well, I would have never thought of that." Aya sighed. She bit her lip in concentration.

"Here you go ladies, what can I get for you this afternoon?" Their waiter asked, setting down their drinks.

"I will have the pasta salad." Kayin said, closing her menu.

"I'll try the garden burger." Aya followed.

Their waiter took their menus and went to go tend to other diners.

"You know, for your reception, I was thinking..." Aya trailed off, pulling out some sheets of paper and a pencil. "For the tables, I was thinking about having the basic blue to cover the table and then a little bit of silver overlaying." Aya explain, sketching out what she meant. "And then, you know, I was thinking at first to do flowers as a center piece, but then it dawned on me... candles. I just think that would look much better. As for everything else, I'm not really sure. I mean, napkins and plates and everything is pretty self-explanatory..." Aya trailed off. "Oh, wait. The chairs. Drape them with a dark blue cloth, and tie it with silver. I'm pretty sure that takes care of everything."

Kayin just sat there in silence. "I'm not sure what to say. I'm amazed that you got all of that in a day. I mean, it's perfect, don't get me wrong. I love all the ideas. All of them. I'm extremely grateful. Now, I'm pretty sure we have the budget to accomplish that. I'll talk it over with Tavor..."

"Here you ladies go. Enjoy your lunch." Their waiter appeared, and set down their meals.

They both nodded a thanks and set in to eat their meal. Their time was dotted with conversations and awkward silences. Aya took the liberty of using them as times to think. The clues still stumped her. By the time the bill came, she was no closer to solving it.

"Alright, so, I have a question. What kind of person would you think of from 'the one who sows happy dreams'? Random, I know. But I was just thinking about it..." Aya trailed off. She held the door open for Kayin.

Kayin looked at her confused. "Huh. That's an odd thing to be thinking about. Well, you know-" She was cut off by an incoming call. "I'm sorry, I have to take this. I'll talk to you later. Bye." She gave her friend a quick hug, answered her phone and walked off into the crowd.

"So much for that...." Aya frowned. She checked the time. "I still have plenty of time..." She shrugged and began walking towards one of the many tall buildings. This particular one held the office in which she worked.

Of course, it wasn't without incident. Halfway there, a shadowy figure came barreling at her, almost as if it was directed to. Aya turned to yell at him, but the figure was gone. She held a scowl on her face and continued forward.

Moments later, she was settled in her chair and got ready to work. However, her mind kept drifting to the person that bumped into her. He just disappeared. Aya took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Just forget about it. There are bigger things to worry about." She muttered to herself.

Aya worked in pure solitude for hours, with the time ticking by. However, it was broken when a co-worker stopped by. "Hey, Aya. What do you think about going out and hanging with some of us tonight?" She asked, not sure if she should.

"Eh, sure." Aya agreed absentmindedly. "Hey, who would think of when you hear 'the one that sows happy dreams'?"

" 'Sows' as in 's-o-w' or 's-e-w'?" The co-worker asked, obviously confused.

Aya bit her lip. This never occurred to her. "Uh, 's-o-w'." She answered, hoping it was right.

"Well, a farmer, or someone who works with plants. However, if it was 's-e-w' I'd be thinking more along the lines of someone who sews, a tailor or fashion designer."

A light bulb went off in Aya's head. "Oh. Well, thank you."

"No problem. Meet us over at the usual place and time." Her co-worker replied, and returned to her place.
--- A/N: Haha, took me long enough to get this up, right??? Anyway, this chapter may/may not have a part three. I am slightly stumped on what to do from here. But, we will see. :D

Chapter Two

Chapter two
-
Blinking away the bluriness, Aya glanced at her clock. 9AM. Her mind instantly rushed into panic mode. "I'm supposed to meet Kayin in an hour!" Not even bothering with breakfast, she rushed to get ready. She grabbed something random from her closet, and took the quickest shower she could manage. Sure enough, forty-five minutes later, Aya was staring at her reflection, applying make-up. For only having an hour to get ready, she was doing pretty well. She might actually have time to get some breakfast.... then she took another look at her hair. Maybe not.

Just as Aya put the last pin in her hair, the doorbell rang. "One moment!" She called, grabbed her bag and a granola bar. One last look in the mirror confirmed that this was the best she could do, and headed out the door. "Hey, Kayin, let's go." Aya said before taking a bite of her granola bar.

"Looks like someone didn't get up early enough." Her friend joked when she saw Aya eating. "Anyhow, lets get going to the tailor. I want you to see the dress. It is amazing! I'm sure you will agree."

Aya raised her eyebrows, shrugged and followed her friend. After swallowing, Aya asked where exactly the tailor was.

"It's not far, I promise."

Aya crumpled the wrapper in her hand and crammed it into her pocket. "OK... If you say so. I looked at the pictures you sent me last night. I think I know exactly what I want to do. I'm thinking pretty simplistic, but hey, simple is good, right? Anyway, I was curious, what's my budget constraint? I'd just like an idea if you don't mind..." She trailed off.

"We'll talk. I mean, with so few people, I can manage to spend a bit more on elegance. And, oh! Here's the tailor. Come on." Kayin tugged Aya's arm into a small studio. Her body had no choice but to follow.

"Hello young ladies." An old frail voice greeted them.

Aya took a good look and sized up the old man. He was bent over and used a cane to help him around. His white hair was slowly receding. He had a nice enough smile, and his teeth were in good condition. Aya was wary, but liked the old man.

While Kayin was talking with the tailor, Aya looked around the room. Wooden shelves lined one wall. They held many colors of thread and sizes of needles. She noted a few bundles of fabric scattered here and there. She tried to find a sewing machine, but no avail. While the tailor went back into the other room to fetch the dress, Aya craned her neck to see what else was in there. Though, she couldn't see anything.

"Calm down Aya!" Her friend soothed. "You'll see the dress."

The old man came back only a few seconds later with a black garment bag. "Here. Try it on and see how it fits. You can go ahead and change in there." He said and pointed to the door next to the one he came out of.

Kayin happily obliged. She grabbed the bag and rushed to the room, with a smile painted on her face.

Standing and waiting out in the shop was beginning to get uncomfortable. Aya felt the man's eyes staring at her. She shifted her weight anxiously. A bad feeling began to settle in her stomach. "So, um, how long have you been a, uh, er, tailor?" Aya asked, glancing over the room.

"Oh, many years. This shop has been passed down through many generations. I'm lucky that it stays in such good shape." He said longingly, with a look of content splashed on his face.

Aya nodded. She opened her mouth to reply, but Kayin came gliding out. The moment Aya laid eyes on her friend, she was speechless. Not only did she look wonderful, the dress also bore a striking resemblance to the one that the bride was wearing in the picture she was sent. Aya immediately ran to her friend and hugged her. "You look wonderful!"

"Thanks Aya. I knew you would agree. I don't think I could find anything better." Kayin told Aya. "It just feels like magic when I put it on. I can't wait until Tavor sees me in this." She dreamed.

Aya looked back at the tailor. He was concentrating, that Aya could tell. His eyes were squinted, his mouth set into a thin line, and he leaned forward just slightly, as if he could get a better look that way. "How does the dress fit?" He asked finally.

"Oh, perfectly. It couldn't fit any better unless I was sewn into it." Kayin gushed.

"Good." The tailor said plainly. "That's wonderful to hear. I say we have one more fitting a week before the wedding."

Kayin nodded, "Oh yes. That would be nice. Let me go change and I'll tell you when I'm free that day. OK?" With hardly a nod from the tailor, she went back into the room and changed.

Aya shifted her weight uncomfortably. She glanced over at the tailor who was muttering something to himself. Keeping herself occupied, she paced around the shop, looking more carefully at the walls.

Continuation of my new story.

She set her things down on the counter and settled down on her couch. Aya cut the tape holding the box shut. On the very top was an envelope. Aya bit her lip and decided to open it.

"Congratulations. Your curiosity has gotten you this far. Now, I'm sure you have many questions, but they will be answered. First, I suggest you keep the flier you found today safe. It will come in handy later. Second, be very wary of new people you meet during this time. Third, this is not meant to be a dangerous challenge, but if you don't pay attention, it just might be. Lastly, you cannot back out of this challenge now that you have read this letter. Go through till the end. Good luck."

Aya frowned deeply. The letter didn't sound good at all. Setting aside the letter, Aya searched through the newspaper padding the other items in the box. One by one, she got the items out and lined them on her coffee table. By the end, she had 3 animal figurines, a framed wedding picture, two old musty books and a stone with the word 'Tame' on it.

Quizzically, Aya looked over everything. She ran her hands over the animal figurines. They felt like they were molded from clay, fired and unglazed. However, Aya realized that they had amazing detail. Her personal favorite was the tiger. It was crouched and ready to pounce, mouth open ready to bite. Next was a panda, sitting upright with a piece of bamboo in hand. Lastly, there was a penguin. It stood tall and regal, beak high in the air.

Next, Aya looked at the books. One had tape running along the spine. It seemed to be diary, the writing was small and plain. There were no loops or anything that hinted at a character. However, Aya knew it was hand written. Ink splotches appeared on almost every page. Some pages even had doodles. Mostly flowers, but there was an
occasional house cat here and there.

The other book looked like an ancient medical journal. The script was very carefully written and looked very official. There were many drawings, and most looked super accurate. Sighing, Aya closed the book. How would any of these things help her?

Not wanting to give up, Aya looked at the picture. A simple wooden frame held the picture. The picture itself was the bride and groom, standing side by side, with grins plastered on their faces. They looked stiff and nervous, almost as if they weren't sure if they wanted to go through with it.

Aya took out the backing that was holding the picture in place. She wanted to get a closer look at their faces. "There must be something more..." she thought. Upon taking the back out, a piece of paper floated to the ground. She picked up the paper,cautious. "Beware the one that sows happy dreams." Aya read aloud. Her face immediately crumpled in confusion. "What is that supposed to even mean?" She exclaimed, and threw her hands up in exasperation.

She sat, staring at the wall for many moments. Beginning to get frustrated, Aya looked for the paper that lead her to this. While she was up, she also grabbed a pen and paper. She settled back down on her couch and began to decipher the numbers. The big part was just making sure the numbers were correct. However, it wasn't long until her concentration was broken by another phone call. "Hello?" she answered.
"Hey, I'm going to come pick you up around ten tomorrow. Is that OK?"

"Mhm, sure. Just fine Kayin"

"Awesome. Oh, and check your e-mail when you can. I sent you pictures of the place you're working with."

Aya sighed loudly. "Alright. I'll check them out. I hope you're going to be content with fake flowers, though..." She trailed off.

"Hey, whatever works. I'm sure you'll make it wonderful." Kayin replied, almost sounding like she was shrugging.

"Um, ok. Well, I have to go now... so I'll talk to you tomorrow, OK?"

"Yeah, sure Aya. See ya tomorrow."

Sighing, Aya checked her e-mail. However, she had to admit, she could envision a lot of things going on. Thankfully, it wasn't going to be a huge project.

Exhaling, Aya looked at the last thing from the package. She ran her fingers over the stone many times. She just could not get over how smooth it felt. The light gray stone had mesmerizing swirls of black running through it. 'Tame' was etched deeply and deliberately.

It wasn't long before Aya turned back to the flier. It wasn't that the stone didn't interest her, she just thought that the flier was more important. She jotted down the numbers on her own piece of paper and set to work. However, the later it got, the more she was looking at the drawing. Aya was pretty sure that's the last thing she saw before falling asleep, right there on her couch.
---------
And thus concludes chapter one

Ah... New story

Aya pinned the last bit of hair back. She took one last glance in the mirror to make sure everything was perfect. There was no point in spending so much time on this is it wasn't the best it could possibly be. Satisfied, Aya grabbed her bag and hurried out the door. She hoped she wasn't going to be late.

Stepping out, Aya was greeted with the normal hustle and bustle of the city. While this certainly wasn't New York or Chicago, it was busy enough. Cars rushed passed and Aya was hesitant to cross the street. She bit her lip, grabbed a hold tighter on her bag, and began to cross at the first open chance she had. She began to shove her way through the crowd on the sidewalk.

"Please. Go faster!" She begged silently. The anticipation was killing her. She dug the note out of her pocket and double, triple and quadruple checked the message. For sure it was today. For sure it was in ten minutes. For sure it was at the coffee house. Impulsively, she checked her watch. "Come on!" she thought. Aya always hated being late.

Her hear leapt when she saw the sign for the coffee house just ahead. Moments later, she pushed herself through the door. The heavenly aroma of ground coffee, hot chocolate, and fudge brownies filled the air. Aya took one deep breath and sighed. Right on time. Her eyes darted to the clock just to be sure.

She scanned the room to find her friend. Where was she? Aya began to play with the strap of her bag. Twisting it this way and that. She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh in order to calm herself. Blinking her eyes open, she saw a bright yellow piece of paper in the corner of her eye. Curious, she glanced at the table. Spotless except for that one piece of paper. Aya could no longer hold in her curiosity.

She stepped closer, still suspicious. However, Aya barely got a glance before her phone vibrated violently against her thigh. She grabbed the paper and shoved it into her bag. With the other hand, she grabbed her phone. "Hello?" She answered.

"Um yeah, hey Aya. I'm gonna be a little bit late. Hang tight... order some coffee or something. I should be there soon, but I dunno. We'll see. And seriously, I can tell you're scowling. Get over it. People can't always been on time."

Aya rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll wait." She said and snapped her phone shut. Frowning, she headed over to the counter to order something. Anything to melt away the bundle of stress that was beginning to form in the pit of her stomach. She stared up at the extensive menu placed before her. Hot chocolate. Coffee. Maybe even tea. She tapped her chin while considering every choice.

She cleared her throat. "I think I'll have a, uh," She stammered slightly as she looked at the cashier. She gulped down her nerves. "A, uh...." she took in a deep breath. "Hotchocolatewithabrownie" She said, all the words running into each other and tripping over one another. The cashier just nodded.

"That'll be $6.50." He said, handing Aya her brownie.

Aya fumbled around for her wallet. She pulled out exact change and nodded a thanks for her brownie.

The cashier cleared his throat. "Yeah... your drink should be done short- Oh. Here it is." He said and handed the drink to her. "Have a good day."

Aya nodded, and began to feel blood take over her cheeks. "Thanks. You too." she mumbled and scurried off with her drink. Settling down at a table, Aya was mentally slapping herself. "That was so stupid! Ugh. I should have just not gotten anything. He probably thinks I'm such a weirdo!" However, Aya took a sip from her drink. She tried her hardest not to spit it out. "Hot! Hot! Hot!" She began to panic in her mind. Grimacing, she swallowed it down.

This was was just not her day at all. Giving up, Aya took the yellow piece of paper out of her bag. She smoothed out the crumples that formed in her haste to put it away. She was disappointed when studying the paper further. It was just another flier recruiting actors and actresses for an aspiring playwright to live their dream. Aya frowned and turned over the paper. Maybe something special was on the back.

Sure enough, on the backside, a picture was drawn, looking quickly sketched on there. To Aya, it seemed to be a face belonging to a child. It was short and round, with chubby cheeks. The eyes were big, but not opened all the way. It almost looked as if the child was about to cry. The mouth creased into a frown, and the eyes looked a little filmy. Aya couldn't tell if it was a boy or girl. The artist only had time to draw a few wisps of hair over the forehead. Looking closer, Aya found a series of numbers written in the corner. They were done lightly, and Aya had to squint to see all the numbers. Even then, she wasn't sure she had them all correct.

However, before Aya could contemplate for long, her friend slid into the seat across from her. "Hey Aya. What do you have there?" They tried to peer at the paper.

Frantically, Aya shoved the paper back into her bag. "Nothing." She snapped. "Glad you could make it. Now that you are..." She glanced at her watch, "Over ten minutes late. Lets get to business. I need to be somewhere." Aya lied at the last part. She was just too curious about the numbers in the corner.

"Wow. Someone is a little snappy today. What bit your butt today?" Her friend replied. She cleared her throat. "However. I think it is time that you help me decide the decorations for the wedding."

"I'm no wedding designer. You know that, right?"

"But your attention to detail! It's amazing. I know with you that it will be right. It will look perfect. And what bride doesn't want that on her special day?"

Aya sagged her shoulders in defeat. "Fine. I'll help you. But if I see any hint of bridezilla... I'm leaving. OK? Give me the whole deal with what you have and I'll see what I can do."

Her friend broke into a huge grin. "You are an awesome friend, you know that?"

"Mhm. Sure. Whatever." Aya replied glumly as she realized that the flier was going to have to wait. She took a bite into her brownie and listened to all the details her friend was spilling out.

"Alright, so you know that I want a blue and silver theme right?" Kayin gave no time for Aya to answer. "But not light blue, dark blue. A deep, rich, dark blue. Have you seen my dress? No? Oh.. well you'll get to see it soon. Maybe you can come with me to go pick it up from the tailor tomorrow. But anyway, I have this place reserved. I still need to figure out what flowers I want and everything. It's a small place, so don't worry. I think you can handle it."

Aya sighed. "OK. How many people are coming?" She dreaded the answer. She hoped it really was a small wedding.

"Oh maybe something like... fifty. It's basically close friends and family. Tavor doesn't think that all his colleagues need to know his personal life. I agree... to a point. We're planning to have the reception in the church hall, so don't worry. And I-" But Kayin couldn't finish her sentence. Her pager beeped loudly. "I have to go. I'll email you pictures of the venue later." And like that, Kayin was out the door.

Aya sighed. "I guess it's time to go..." She muttered to herself while collecting her stuff. She took another sip of her hot chocolate, and this time it was perfect. Aya smiled and walked back to her apartment. Thankfully, the traffic eased up just a little bit and crossing the street was not so perilous this time.

However, greeting Aya in front of her door was a package. She frowned, but no matter how suspicious she was, she couldn't turn down the curiosity. Kicking the package forward into the apartment, she wondered if it had anything to do with the flier she found. Sighing, she closed the door and continued to kick the package forward.

Continuation of first post

By the next morning, I had slept for way too long, and missed too many calls. I noticed my mom had called, and so had a friend. I listened to the voice mail she sent and called her back. As I was waiting for her to pick up, I glanced over my calendar.
“Hello.”
“Oh, hey. I’m just returning the call…”
“Well, Lola, I was wondering, if you’d mind if I came over. I mean, there’s some news around, and I want to see if it’s true.” She told me.
I walked over to my calendar and stared at it aimlessly. My eyes jumped to a date I had circled about a million times in red marker. The seventeenth. “Hey, what day is it?” I asked abruptly, forgetting that I should answer her question first.
There was some papers rustling before I heard, “The tenth… I think.”
I nodded, “Ok, yeah, you can come over whenever you want. I’m fine.” I answered. Carefully, I took a pen and crossed off the other days. It was not long until I realized that my friend had hung up. The dial tone rang into my ear loudly.
It was only a few minutes before I heard the doorbell ring. Running down the stairs, I knew I should’ve changed. Shrugging it off, I answered the door. “Hey, come on in.”
“Thanks.” She said, looking around the living room.
“Do you want anything to eat, or drink?” I asked, already headed to the kitchen.
“Nah. I’m good.” I could hear a slight hesitation in her voice.
“You sure?” I asked, pouring myself some lemonade.
“Yeah. I’m sure.” She paused for a moment, and shifted. “Well, since there is no easy way to ask this… wanna come over to my house tonight? I’m going to have a few friends over…” She trailed off.
I stood there, frozen. The last party seemed like weeks ago… but it wasn’t that long. The voice in my head was begging me not to. Another was telling me to go out and have as much fun as I could. “I… I’m not sure.” I hesitated greatly.
“Come on, it’ll be really mellow. Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.” It was like she could read why I was hesitating.
I sucked in a deep breath. Before answering, I let it out slowly, “Sure. What time?” I asked.
“Around six or seven-ish. It doesn’t really matter.”
I nodded, “OK. I guess I can make it.” I sipped some of my lemonade.
She smiled widely, “Great. Here’s my address.” She handed me a piece of paper with her address scrawled messily on it.
I smiled back at her. If it made her happy, then… what harm could it do?
“Well, I guess I’ll be heading home…” She trailed off, as if she wasn’t ready to leave.
“Ok. I’ll see you in a few hours, then…” I wasn’t sure if I wanted to her to leave. There was something that told me there was more. But, I didn’t have much time to dwell on it.
“Dare You to Move” Switchfoot

I nervously rang my friend’s doorbell. It felt ominous standing here again. I fidgeted with the zipper on my jacket. It seemed like a bad idea now. I took in a shaky breath and let it out as she opened the door.
“Hey, glad you could make it! Come on in Lola.” She practically pulled me through the doorway.
I smiled gratefully, “Hey, what’s up?” I surveyed who was there. No one I knew. An alarm was going off in my head. I struggled to mute it. I did not need it know. I needed to be with my friends and I needed to enjoy myself.
“Oh, nothing really. Here. Sit down. Make yourself at home.”
I settled into the couch. The only open spot, settled between the armrest and a guy. I felt uneasy. My palms began to sweat a little. I gulped down my fear and tuned into the conversation. I hoped no one asked for my name.
I tried my best to pay attention. But the words kept flying over my head. I couldn’t keep the uneasy feeling down for long. I was just about to get up and leave when my friend came in to check on us.
“How’s it going? Anyone want anything to drink?”
There were a chorus of ‘fine’ and ‘yes’. I personally did not say a thing. Everything was too jumbled up for me to respond in a timely manner. I just sunk back lower into the couch and sighed.
Soon enough, my friend came back with a whole bunch of drinks. I shrugged and mumbled thanks as I was handed a drink. Taking a sip, I didn’t think twice about what I have always been warned. These people seemed nice, I mean, from the jumbled conversation, nothing too bad was going on.
I started to pay closer attention. Nothing was too bad. I began to feel a little more at ease. Though, things did start to look… off. I was going to question it… until I felt the guy next to me touch my leg. It’s been so long since I’ve actually had contact with a guy.
Settling down, I turned to him. Not too bad. I mean, definitely not Dave, but certainly an option. He had messy dirty blonde hair, brown eyes and tanned skin. He seemed so at ease. And happy. I couldn’t help but smile looking at him.
He gave me smile and pulled me in closer. It felt good resting on him. Of course, considering I hadn’t seen Dave in forever, I might as well enjoy my time with any guy I could. I snuggled in closer, feeling the warmth. I didn’t care what anyone was saying. I guess it was kind of obvious that I was with Dave.
He began to run his hand through my hair. My cheeks flushed red, by deep down… I knew I wanted it. But, even deeper down, I felt bad about it. What if Dave found out? I pushed that thought back. No need to think about it. I could handle it when the time came.
I gulped down a bit more of my drink. Then I felt this weird taste… it was just off. It did not taste normal. I tried unsuccessfully to hide my displeasure. But, try as I might, the guy I was leaning on noticed.
“You OK there?” he asked, and my heart fluttered just ever so slightly.
I looked up at him, studying his face closely. “Yeah, I think I’m fine…” I trailed off, yawning. Things had just become too hectic for me to handle.
As the night flew forward, I found myself to become more social. The conversation skipped to many weird and random things. Most of it left a smile on my face; it made me forget everything that was going on.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, and it almost made me jump out of my seat. Everything flooded back as I read the name on the caller ID. Angrily, I threw my phone down and walked out of the room.
I didn’t care what they thought. I didn’t care if someone found my phone. I just didn’t care anymore. Zipping up my jacket, I practically ran.
“Hold on!” I heard someone shouting behind me.
I turned on my heel to look who it was- the guy who I was sitting next to. He was running towards me, holding something in his tight grip. My phone. “What?” I asked harshly.
“No need to be so upset. But here, you dropped it.” He said softly, and handed me my phone.
There was an awkward silence as I took my phone and put it in my pocket. I stood there, not really thankful that I had my phone back.
“So, are ya gonna come back to the party? It wouldn’t be the same without you there, you know.” He said, finally breaking the silence.
I shook my head, “Probably not. I think I just need some time to… just relax.” I didn’t even think about how I was going to do that.
“Well, maybe this will help.” In the dim light I couldn’t really tell what it was. But, I felt the plastic of both objects. I could only guess. And, I think I already knew.
I nodded, “Alright. Well…. Bye.” I turned around and walked back to my house. I opened the door, and as usual, darkness greeted me. I climbed up the stair and flopped down onto my bed. I took out my phone and what he had given me. A lighter… and that’s when I knew what the other object was. I closed my eyes and pulled it out. Yep, a pack of cigarettes. Well, I shrugged, might as well give it a shot. I mean, I’ve heard of some people saying how it always calms them down.
I felt my phone vibrate again. I fumbled around for my phone again. Without looking who was calling, I answered the call.

A/N: written over the summer... didn't finish until recently. Written in first person because it's so much easier.... never gone through anything like this.





Soft classical music filled my ears. Flowing slowly and smoothly like honey. Each note tied together and danced. And danced. Together, they swept me off my feet. It was like floating. Floating among the clouds, a fleeting feeling. Feeling free.
Freedom. The word escaped from my lips in a soft whisper. Like a puff of smoke. Here. Then gone.
The sun. Beating down. Filling the room with warmth. Gentle and soft. Filling me with motivation. Happiness.
Sharp, staccato steps warned me that I wasn't alone. I squeezed my eyes closed. I didn't want this dream to end. My heart pounded in my chest as possibilities flashed in my mind.
The music stopped abruptly.
I sank back down to my real height. The magic was gone and I had to face the real world. I had barely opened my eyes when I realized...
Standing only inches away, beautiful brown eyes intensly stared into mine. It hurt to hold the gaze. My eyes began to tear...
I held back a sob. Nothing could ever explain the dread I felt. It hurt so much to know, to finally know.
Sometimes, you don't want your wishes to come true. Sometimes they have to. For better or worse.... some wishes are granted. Even if you don't mean them.
A salty tear flowed down my cheek.
His gentle fingers brushed it away. Softly.... I collapsed in his arms. Unwilling to face the real world. The world that had just changed. Drastically.
The tears flowed freely now. Unable to supress them, I let them go.
It felt like they'd never stop. In a way... I don't think I wanted them to. If it meant comfort. If it meant that I was safe. It it meant that I wasn't alone... I would never want them to stop.
Some things never change.

One rainy day Mother Cloud and Father Sun got their flirt on. One thing lead to another and bing, bang, boom, along came Stormy. She was a mixture of all things weather. Her eyes were snowflakes, her head a cloud, her arms and legs where lightning bolts, her mouth a rainbow, and her torso was a raindrop. Stormy was the envy of all the other weather girls, and the want of all the weather boys. But, none of the weather boys ever seemed good enough for her.

One day Stormy was taking a stroll down Rainbow Road when one of the servants at the palace came running after her. They told her that her father, the king, had been kidnapped by the Moon. Now, the Moon has always been jealous of the king because he was only out when people were asleep. And, the Sun provided light for the whole world.

Stormy was devastated when she heard the news, for she loved her father very much. She sprinted back to the palace with her curly hair flying behind her. Her mother, the Cloud Queen, was sobbing when Stormy found her in the throne room. The Queen looked at her daughter. It was not the look she usually gave Stormy, it was a look of wonder, a look of significance.

“You’re the only one that can save your father, Stormy!” The Queen said, still sobbing.

“But, why am I so special, why can’t someone else do it?” Stormy questioned.

“You are the daughter of the Sun and the Cloud. You are one of a kind. You’re the only one that can survive the grip of the black hole to save the King.” Said the Queen, “You’ll need a guide, someone that knows what to do.”

“Who can possibly know how to save the sun from a black hole, defeat the moon, and return safely back to the palace?” asked Stormy, half sarcastic.

“The Weather Man can!” yelled her mother with delight. “Servant, go fetch the Weather Man from channel 4.” She turned to Stormy, “The Weather Man knows all about the Sun and Clouds. He knows everything to do with anything about weather and, well, pretty much anything in the sky. He will help you.

Stormy looked unconvinced, “How will a mortal help ME?” she asked, “I’m Stormy, I’m the only daughter of the Sun and Cloud. “

“He will help you,” Said her mother, “he will help you” she whispered to herself.

Ten minutes later Servant the servant busted through the Throne Room door with Weather Man close behind her.

“Ooo!” Stormy squeaked with delight for Weather Man was quite the hunk.

He looked worried, “I just heard, I’m so sorry, I’ll do whatever it takes.” He said all at once.

He looked over at Stormy. “I will help you rescue your father from the idiotic moon and his minion.”

“Thank you,” said Stormy, staring at him in awe.

“You’ll need the Cloud Mobile to get there,” said the Queen, tossing Stormy the keys. “And, good luck to the pair of you,” she said, a tear rolling down her cheek.

Stormy took a solemn face and waved good bye to her mom. Only moments later, Stormy and Weather Man sat in the Cloud Mobile. Stormy hesitated before starting it up, “Where do we go?” she asked, her gaze lingering over the Weather Man for a moment.

“Don’t worry. I’ll give you the directions. I think I know exactly where he is.” He said the last part in a serious tone.

Stormy took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Ok.” And with that she started up the Cloud Mobile and headed off where the Weather Man told her to go.

Stormy lost track of time, she was too focused on figuring out how to save her father. Plus, the closer she got to the black hole, the darker things got. Her heart rate got steadily higher with every passing moment.

“Stop,” the Weather Man said, “This is as close as we can get or we’ll be sucked in.”

Stormy sighed and, reluctantly stopped the car. “It’s now or never, isn’t it?”

The Weather Man nodded, “It is… but you can do it.” He patted her on the shoulder, “You just have to trust yourself.”

Stormy nodded, “Ok. I’ll do it. I’m ready.” She pushed open her door and stepped outside. The Weather Man stepped beside her. She couldn’t help but to get one last glance at him. “So, what do we do now?” she asked, uncertain.

“See that dark spot right over there?” The Weather Man pointed off into the distance, “That’s the black hole. Keep walking into the center, and use your lightning to keep it lit. I’ll be right by you to help you out.”

Stormy couldn’t help but crack a smile. “Let’s get to it!” she proclaimed proudly. Stormy set forth on the path to the black hole. Every step got increasingly darker, until she couldn’t even tell if she was going forward.

She felt a nudge in her side, “Lightning”

Stormy nodded, “Right,” and soon the small area around her was lit.

It seemed like an eternity before they ran into someone… or something. It was too dim to tell. Whatever it was was in too much of a hurry to stop. Of course, it had no hope of getting out. That got Stormy thinking, could she actually get her father out? Nothing had ever escaped the black hole before.

Stormy heard a faint sound coming from behind them. Or, at least she thought it was behind them. Her lightning was wearing off. Her voice trembled; “Who’s there?” she called out.

A low rumbling laugh rang through Stormy’s and Weather Man’s ears. “You don’t know? Oh naive child. Don’t you know that I’m the only one that can pass through black holes as I wish? You’ll never get your father out of here!”

Stormy was speechless. Her own doubts were told to her. Mocking her. Tears pricked up in her eyes. She began to believe all that the Moon told her.

The Weather Man took no notice, “Just you wait and see. We’ll get him out!” there was sureness in his voice that Stormy couldn’t believe. The Weather Man put his arm around Stormy and led her on towards the center of the black hole. “It’s alright. You can get your dad out of here. Don’t believe him. You know the moon is lying.” He tried his best to comfort Stormy.

“I- I know. But it’s true though! We can’t possibly get my father out!” Stormy cried.

“Hush now.” The voice didn’t belong to the Weather Man. “This young man over here is right.”

“D-daddy?” Stormy looked around, “Where are you?” Her nerves were in a panic. It could be another trick.

“It’s ok, sweetie. Just head back. I’ll follow. I’ll help you defeat the moon. No one can hold all three of us in the prison. It’s going to be just fine.”

Stormy nodded and walked slowly back to the way she came. The lightning slowly phased out. It became pitch black again. Stormy gulped down her nerves as a light behind her slowly phased in. Now she had not doubt that it was her father behind her.

Only seconds later, the Moon reappeared. No time was wasted chatting. He immediately extinguished the light. Darkness fell over everyone. The moon had a huge advantage.

Stormy used her wind and aimed at the last place she saw the moon. Nothing. It didn’t seem to faze him. She gritted her teeth and tried to muster as much light as she could. For a brief second, she knew where the moon was. And quickly, she sent a lightning bolt forward and hit him.

Wasting no time, everyone rushed forward. They did not want another confrontation with him. Of course, it was inevitable. He would return.

Light slowly returned. They were coming out the black hole. Stormy rejoiced on the inside. She never thought she’d ever get out. It seemed like an eternity since she left the Palace. Stormy could only feel what the people on earth felt. It must’ve been torture to spend so long without the sun.

But alas, the moon did return. “You’ll never get out.” He blocked the exit. “Only I can leave upon free will. You three will never see light out of here.” He said menacingly.

Stormy built up a big gust of wind and let it out. The moon barely budged. The Weather Man took her arm, “Don’t give up. He’ll get worn down eventually. Just keep going.” He looked back at father sun, “Right, sir?”

“Of course! I know my Stormy, she’ll get us out.” Father Sun replied.

Stormy took hands with the Weather Man and her father. In one final effort, she concentrated her energy and gave one final blast. The moon flew away and the three were free. Stormy ran forward in happiness.

The Weather Man followed in pursuit, “See? I TOLD you! You could do it! There was no reason for doubt.” He embraced her in a big hug.

Father Sun came slowly behind; being in the black hole did take a lot of energy from him. “I’m so proud of you Stormy. I knew you would come. I’m so grateful.”

“Thank you. Both of you. I could never have done this without you Weather Man. Dad; you just gave me one of the best times of my life. Thank you,” Stormy hugged her father.

“Well, let’s go back to the Palace and tell everyone! I’m sure your mom will be so happy.” The Weather Man said joyfully.

“Yeah!” Stormy shouted and ran over to the Cloud Mobile. “Let’s get going home!”

Everyone piled in and headed back to the Palace. Father Sun snoozed in the back while the Weather Man drove. Stormy couldn’t stop looking at the one who helped her through it all. In her mind, she knew that this was the one.

“Hey… Weather Man. I’ve been thinking. And, uh, I just wanted to tell you that… I like you.” Stormy said, blushing slightly.

The Weather Man looked at her. “I like you too. I’m glad that I could help you with this mission… and I hope that we can see each other once you get home.” He smiled.

Stormy nodded, “Yeah. I hope so, too. That’d be great.” She said, slowly falling asleep. The adventure did take a lot out of her.

Late in the night, they arrived home. Mother Cloud rushed out of the Palace when she heard the Cloud Mobile. She hugged her husband and daughter close to her. ‘Thank you’ she mouthed to the Weather Man. Tears began to stream out of her eyes.

The Weather Man nodded, “You’re welcome. I am pleased to have helped out. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He decided.

Mother Cloud nodded and escorted the two in her arms to the Palace. They needed a good night’s rest. The citizens could celebrate them returning tomorrow. No need to wake everyone up.

As for the Moon- he kept his rein over the night sky, only after the Sun convinced him that he was just as important. Of course, the Moon kept plotting to overthrow the Sun. And he’s still plotting to this day.

The whole story.... so far

When You’re Gone
The bus jerked to a stop right in front of my house. I scrambled out of there as fast as I could. Nobody cool rode the bus, and I had the pleasure of sitting next to one of the most obnoxious people ever. I mean, there were about 20 other seats open, and he had to sit next to me.
I fished out the house key from my bag and shouted, “I’m home!”, though it was all in vain. Nobody else was there. It was weird, my dad was always home. Dropping my bag I noticed that there was a note sticking to the fridge. I grabbed it, read it and immediately teared up.
There was a good reason why I had to take that filthy bus, but that didn’t matter right now. I dialed in my mom’s work number, and talked with her. What I managed to choke out was enough to make her worried. Even though she couldn’t get out of work early, she tried to get home as early as she could.
My dad had always been one to never show his feelings or problems. That probably is why he ended up in the hospital. As hard as I tried not to cry, I did.
I tried to remember that morning, when I last saw him. He dropped me off at school. I always watched to make sure he at least got on the main road safely. He always seemed to carry himself with pride.
That night when I lay down in bed, I kept thinking about how I missed the signs. I tried to imagine that everything was going to be OK. I tried to remember some good times. All I hoped was that my dad missed me.
The next morning, I barely heard my alarm go off. My nightstand was a mess, as usual. Fumbling around for the snooze button, I realized it was Saturday. Not only was I angry that I had woken up so early, but that I had no where to go.
I skipped breakfast and did something I never did; I went into my parent’s room. I was surprised, it was messy. I decided to do something nice and pick up a little bit. It seriously looked like there was a struggle in there.
The more I picked up, the more I realized I really did miss my dad. I would’ve called the hospital, but didn’t for fear that I would have my heart broken. I did, however, call the only one of my friends who would be up this early.
I’m not sure how long we actually talked, or even if anything I said made sense. The moment he picked up, I was crying. He didn’t know what was going on, but, he came over and just talked. Neither of us could count the number of hugs there that day, or just how much we really relied on the other for support.
No matter how hard I tried, I just could not pick up the phone to call the hospital. It was impossible.
That day must’ve been a day of change. I did something else I swore I would never do. I always thought those “cutters” at my school needed a better way to figure things out. I told myself I would always cry it out; I would never cause myself bodily harm, ever. What was worse than the “cutters”? That one girl who burnt herself. She told me the first time was purely accidental. Then, whenever she had a horrible day, she’d always say, “I’m going to burn myself today.” Or, if it was the day after, “I burnt myself last night” sometimes it was, “I almost burnt myself last night”
My mom was set home any minute when I was in the bathroom. The day had been unbearable, as far as just not crying went. It seemed like everything I did had some connection with my dad. I had a razor in my hand; I gripped it so tightly that my hand turned white. I was hesitant to actually put pressure and drag the blade across my wrist.
When I heard the grumbling sound of the garage opening, I did it. Contrary to what the other “cutters” told me, the metal was not all that cold. I wouldn’t go as far to that it was warm, either.
I watched as the blood flowed out as the blade passed over the skin. A sudden knock at the door told me that my mom wanted to see me. I hid the blade and stuck my arm behind my back. “Hi” I said while opening the door.
“Hey, honey. How was your day?” she asked.
“Ok, I guess.” I shrugged
“What’d you do?”
“Nothing really. I talked with some friends. Ate. Did homework.” I lied about the last part. By now the pain was searing through my arm, but pretended that nothing was wrong. “So, is that it?” I asked, desperately wanting to tend to washing off my arm.
My mom smiled, as if she was very satisfied. “Sure.” And she went to silence the tea kettle.
I sighed, closed and locked the door. Most of my forearm was covered in blood. Taking a damp cloth, I washed it all off. I knew that someone was going to notice sooner or later. As I was bandaging my arm, I winced at the pain; it was sore. If the “cutters” were anything to go by, it would get easier with time. For some reason, I felt satisfied. Maybe nothing was solved, but, I felt better. Like something was in my control. Quickly, I pulled a baggy sweatshirt on and happily ate dinner with my mom.

Devastation and Reform
I was caught; I knew it would happen someday, so it took a couple of weeks, it still surprised me that someone noticed. I chose the wrong day to wear short-sleeves. He just had to catch sight of my wrists and wonder. “How did this happen?” he asked, even though we both knew the answer.
I just shook my head, “I really don’t know. I always told myself this would never be the answer to anything, it just happened!” “Oh no, there is a reason. Tell me right now.” He sounded like he was pleading.
“I’ve got enough problems. I don’t need you to become one right now.” I retorted, and then realized how stupid I sounded.
He just looked at me, “How am I becoming the problem?” he asked.
“When you get into the problems I have, then you become part of them. It’s as simple as that.” I told him softly.
He gave me that doubting look, “Sure. Why not just make up something totally ridiculous!” he threw his hands up into the air, trying to make a point.
“Look, I’m sorry. It’s just that, it’s impossible to get anyone to understand. You do not know how many friendships have just been destroyed.” I half pleaded with him. It was true, once my friends saw that I started to hang out the cutters, they didn’t want anything to do with me. They said good bye and left. Good riddance, I thought.
“So maybe I don’t. That’s doesn’t mean you can’t tell me. And, it looks like I’m the only one trying to get you to stop this.” He pointed to my arms.
I shook my head in despair, “No. You are not the only one. I can’t tell you. I’ve tried too many times to phrase it in a good way. All I can say is; everyone needs to get out of my life, and fast.”
He looked somewhat shocked, “No. Neither I, nor will anybody else, get out of your life. We care too much.” He stepped closer and enveloped me in a hug.
Try as I might, he would not let me go. “I brought this on myself.” I whispered.
“You did not bring this on yourself. Life happens.” He told me and let me go. “Don’t you worry. Everything will work out for the best.” He tried to comfort me.
The way he said that just made everything feel better. I knew that it wasn’t even close to being solved, but, I think I figured out how to solve it. Smiling I said, “Thank you”
I hadn’t resolved anything; I knew that I was going to cut again. I didn’t tell him this. I mean, he thought he knew what I was going through. I refused to believe that. It could not be possible. No one could possible know what it was like.
Sure, I had started to bond with my fellow cutters. They had reasons, like I did. So maybe it wasn’t the best way to solve our problems, but it worked for the time being. Nothing made you feel more free or excited when the blade made the initial cut.
He looked me in the eye, “Are you sure about that? It seems like this was solved a little too quickly.”
Dang it. I knew I had been caught. I shifted my weight, “I’m sure” I said half-heartily.
He pursed his lips, “Mmmhmmm. Sure.” He looked at me skeptically.
As I opened my mouth to tell him off, a car pulled up to the curb. It was my mom, since I protested to taking the bus home after school everyday she deiced to pick me up one day a week. “Bye” I said grimly and got into the car.
He narrowed his eyes, “This is not over.” He told me sternly, and griped onto my arm, as if to make a point.

Numb

When we got home, I started working on my homework on the kitchen table. As I worked, I heard my mom start a little dinner. I thought that it was ok to work on a story that I had started during study hall. Little did I know, my mom looked over my shoulder, “What is that?” she asked.
Scrambling to get my books together, I said, “Nothing”
“No, it was something,” she insisted.
“No, it was nothing!”
“It was something” she said in a sing-song voice, then added, “Was it part of that story” she sounded disgusted, “that you’ll never make money off of?”
I slammed the books down on the counter, “Mom!” I protested, “We have had this fight a million times over! Just let me be!”
“Don’t you want to be successful in life? Isn’t that what everyone wants?” my mom asked innocently.
“Yeah, I do want to be successful, in my own way! Not in the way you’re forcing on me. Do you really want me to turn out like you?”
“Well, not exactly like me, but, I really want that you take you life somewhere good.”
I scoffed at this, “Uh, hello! I am doing something with my life!”
I took my books and began walking out of the kitchen. My mom, however, didn’t think that the conversation was over yet.
“Doing what? Do you plan to support yourself by writing all this nonsense?” she picked up a loose paper that fell.
“It’s not nonsense! If you ever paid attention to me, you’d know that this,” I snatched the paper from her hand, “Is the most important thing to me.” I stormed off, walking up the stairs with loud thuds.
My mom couldn’t resist trying to get me to come down. I knew she would try everything in her power to get me to take a different course, her way.
I flopped down onto my bed and took out my writing tablet. The flickering screen, the worn nib, everything was just so familiar and comforting.
I’m not sure how much time went by when I actually came downstairs. All I know is that there was a plate sitting out for me, probably cold by now. Like it always is when we fight, I took my plate up to my room, or at least, started to.
My mom had a sly grin on her face when she came into the kitchen only seconds after I picked up the plate. “I see you’ve taken the bait. Now, I just thought I’d let you know, I got you transferred to a different class.” I could hear the evil dripping from her voice.
I slammed the plate back on the counter, “WHAT?!?!” I yelled.
“Come one, be happy. At least this way, you will be doing something with your life.” She stepped closer to me.
I shoved her away and ran back up to my room, almost in tears.
I pretty much cried my eyes out, it didn’t matter that my mom had just done the most evil thing she could possibly do. No, what bothered me so much is that she seemed happy, like she enjoyed ruining my life.
I heard footsteps coming towards my room, “Great…” I muttered and I frantically opened the nearest book and flipped to a page, like I had been reading it all along.
The door opened and I knew that this was going to be the ‘apology’ where we ‘resolved’ to not fight about my future. I snorted at the idea and waiting for my mom to say something.
“I don’t want you to be like me. But, I think I’m already too late.” Her only comment before she walked right back downstairs.
I was bewildered at her comment, “Too late?” I asked myself. “Is she saying I’m turning out like her? When I really don’t want to be?” I had no more chance to think about it. I had to get ready to be an emcee for the talent show at my school. This was the only time I actually cared how I looked.
I grabbed my black pants a blue graphic, long-sleeved tee shirt. Someone was going to notice those cuts on my arm, and even though some already had, I rather it not be a big deal with the judges today.

Stars

I gulped down my nervousness as I took the microphone; this was it, the talent show was ready to start and I had to be as accurate as possible. Even though I tried not to be, I felt guilty about everything that happened. The words of my classmates echoed in my head. Blinking rapidly, I tried to hold back the tears.
I gripped the microphone harder, and tried to shove those ideas out of my head. It was hard, I never though I could get so attached to what people thought of me. Closing my eyes, I breathed out. Their taunts should not bother me.
Finally, I opened my eyes and looked out into the crowd, surely they must be wondering what was going on with me. Putting on a fake smile, I reassured them that I was OK. Half their faces were blank; the other half was un-readable. Out in the far back, I saw a lone shadow. Whoever it was, was alone in the world, like I was.
I took a fleeting glance at the ceiling; it gave me comfort knowing they liked my decoration idea. Whenever the lights were turned down low, the stars glowed. I was happy just looking at them. I wanted so badly to be outside, to see the real stars, and, if I was lucky, some planet.
I realized then, that I hadn’t said anything for awhile. Blushing furiously, I began to talk about how great the show was going to be and thanking everyone for coming. I don’t know what I said, but, everyone seemed happy as I waked off the stage, letting the opening act go on.
“That was a great job!” one of my friends greeted me backstage.
I grinned, “Thanks.” I paused slightly, “Hey, not to be mean, but, aren’t you supposed to be at home, grounded?”
My friend looked at her watch, “Oops, gotta jet before the ‘rents know I’m gone.” She told me and ran off.
“Always the resistor.” I chuckled.
Later that night, after I realized just how much I need to pay attention, I sit on a tree branch and watch the cars go by, slowly and one by one. I always try to guess how many people are in the car. This late, it’s usually one. All of them look bleak. I try to find the stars in the midst of the branches and leaves.
I sighed and snuck back into the house and tried to finish my homework. It was a stressful way to end my day.

Which to Bury, Us or the hatchet?

“I beg you to forget, start anew! I know I hurt you before, but that doesn’t mean you have to let it become a grudge. I really wish you’d remember our good times.” A pleading voice, belonging to one of my old guy friends said to me.
I just glared, “What good times? Give me one.” I spat back at him.
He looked so confused, as if I was challenging him to answer and impossible riddle. “All those days we had, in class. When I sat next to you, making you laugh. Aren’t those good times?” he asked, finally.
I smirked, “Yeah, but, how you used to make fun of me behind my back or worse, insult me in front of my face and your friends.”
That’s when he looked like a deer caught in headlights, and I knew I was winning. “How about when I was there when your friends abandoned you? Or, when the guy you liked completely broke your heart. Or when-”
“Enough, I get it,” I cut off, “And, I know. Thank you. It’s still not good enough.”
“How is that not good enough?! I was there when no one else was,” He shot back, “Do you know how hard it is to see you cry and not be able to do anything about it?”
My face fell. “Um… wow. You felt helpless every time I came to you crying?” I asked, choosing my words carefully.
“Well… not necessarily…” he trailed off.
I rolled my eyes, “I knew trying to get you to talk was hopeless. You need to learn to open up. That’s it, I’m leaving,” I told him and turned to walk down the street, “You hate me.” I muttered to myself.
I must’ve said my last statement too loud because he jogged after me and took my wrist, “I do not hate you!” he exclaimed. “Honestly, why do you hate me?”
“Oh! This is a no-brainer! No matter how hard I tried to stay out of the spotlight, you made it be on me.” I explained furiously.
“Really? You were seemed to be begging for it!”
“Look, I’m sorry, but I transferred out of that school for a reason. It was my way of getting away from you.”
“Do you know how hard I’ve been trying to get you to come back? As soon as you left, everybody realized what happened. No words were needed, we just knew!” he had his begging voice again.
“I’m sorry. Everything just fit in so well once it happened.”
He looked so hurt, “Well, I guess I give up.”
He turned and walked away, I saw him glance back over his shoulder. I knew I hurt him, but nothing could change the words said. I kept on walking.
I felt like crying, I had just lost another friendship. Sobbing into my pillow, I had an urge to go into the bathroom and get the razor for the umpteenth time this month. Something stopped me, maybe it was the fact that I realized I was turning into something I hated. I never really thought I could change so much.
While I don’t know what made me decide to take the leap to throwing out the razor, I was happy. All I know is that I was going to try. Plus, my dad was coming home soon! Had it really been four months since he had gone? Four months since I started self-destruction? I wondered.

This Is Your Life

I struggled through the next day, and the day after. I broke away from the cutters when I told them what I did. The constant teasing, with no one to run to, it just built up. I was ready to undo what I had done, but I couldn’t.
At home, things were a little lighter. My mom was always out, and when we did come in contact, it was the same thing. “How is it going?” or, “When’s dinner?” It sort of killed me inside to know that we weren’t getting along. At least we weren’t fighting.
On Thursday, I had enough. Although I promised myself I wouldn’t do it, I broke down and just sobbed. Everything had just gone down hill. On Friday, though, a miracle happened. I was eating lunch, alone, as always and a girl comes up to me. I blankly stared at her; she was what I would classify as “Over Achiever”, and someone I would never be caught dead with.
“Hi. I’ve noticed that you’ve been eating by yourself the past few days, do you mind if I eat with you?” she asked in a soft tone.
Maybe I was desperate, or I just needed company. I nodded in disbelief; no one had offered to sit with me in weeks. “Yeah…” I muttered.
“Look, I don’t mean to be a bother, but, it looks like you’ve had some hard times recently. Just take one day at a time. I know this is completely over used, but, things will get better. Trust me, I should know.” As she was talking, I noticed scars on her arms.
I looked at her curiously, “What happened?” I asked.
She smiled, “Long story, short; my sister, brother and mom died in a plane crash while coming home from a trip to visit relatives. All I have left is my other brother, Dave, some aunts, uncles and my grandparents.”
Nodding, I thought about it, she did have it worse, “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“A day at a time, that’s all I have to say” “I’m probably not the first person who said this, and I know I won’t be the last. Have you thought about therapy or something of that sort?” she asked.
I felt offended, “No. I’ve quit.” Then I snorted, “Sorry, it just sounded like I was talking about a drug.”
She shrugged, “Just remember, this is your life. You are in control. You do have a say in how you act and what you are surrounded by, even if sometimes it doesn’t feel like it.”
I pushed my lunch around with my fork, what was it supposed to be anyway? Not daring enough to try, I took a sip of my water bottle. Then it dawned on me, I shouldn’t focus or dwell on the past. It’s gone and over with. I can’t change it.
I smiled at her, “I think I get it. Thanks.”
She smiled back, “No problem. Once I was saved from myself, I made it a duty to help others.”
Corny much? I thought, oh well. Like it really matters, she seemed happy. Why couldn’t I? The bell rang before I could say anything else. I smiled once more and threw away my lunch. “See you around?” I asked, but no one was around. Just me in an empty courtyard.

Up and Up

The days after my encounter were strange, I felt empty in some way. Like I felt when I realized I was alone in the courtyard. Sometimes it felt nice; others I just wanted something to replace that spot. I promised that girl and myself that I would try to do better than I had before.
On Saturday, one of the most amazing things happened; my phone rang. I had gotten so used to spending my days alone; I almost forgot what my ring tone sounded like. Maybe I had spent too much time beating myself up about all the things I did, or just spent too much time dwelling on the past. Either way, I was too preoccupied with what I couldn’t change. I quickly answered it, “Hello?”
“Hey. How’ve you been?” the voice was familiar.
I furrowed my brow, “Who are you?” I asked plainly.
“Oh, I think I have the wrong number” said the other person and hung up.
On Sunday, I was the absolute happiest I ever could be. My dad came home! It seems like all my problems could be solved right then. My mom drove us to the hospital, and I ran to give my dad a hug. Thankful I wore a long-sleeved shirt today, we talked about everything that happened in the last four months. Well, maybe not everything. I left out a good portion of the cutting and crying.
Monday seemed better; of course I had to get through all the teasing and taunts. Though, during lunch, the girl from Friday had come to sit with me. We talked about just about everything under the sun.
Every day after that seemed to be getting better. I acted liked I was unfazed by everything they threw at me. Starting off it was hard, but day after day it became easier. I started to get better in school; I think I shocked the teachers. All my bad grades shot up.
Maybe my old friends noticed my change because one day, one of them came up to me and said, “Is this change for real? I mean, it seems like it was so sudden.”
I was taken back a little, “Of course. I mean, why wouldn’t it be for real?”
She shrugged, “It just seems a little too coincidental that your dad comes home and you stop… you know.” She explained.
I looked at her, “Well, it’s for real. Believe it or not.”
She seemed surprised that I hadn’t backed down. I wanted to rub it in her face, but realized that I was going to be late for my next class. “Call me if you want to know more.” I offered and walked down the hall.
I didn’t look back at her. She didn’t need my friendship unless I knew she was going to be a faithful friend. By the looks of it, it seemed like it would never happen. I felt on top of the world.
My dad had solved so many problems, even if he was the source of some of them. (Of course, I could just be blaming it on him, even though it was my fault)
I don’t know how exactly it happened, but, on Thursday, a guy from my class had talked to me, but, I didn’t remember his name. Before, we didn’t really get along. I was surprised; he seemed so nice and sweet. One thing led to another, and, turns out, I got a date! Changes galore! It was wonderful. There probably wasn’t any feeling better than how I felt then. I’m sure my parents had some objections, for whatever reason.
Friday was hectic. After school I tried to contain my excitement. My first date ever, saying I was happy was an understatement. I barely said hello to my parents as I went up the stairs to change. True, he wasn’t picking me up until 7pm; I had 3 and a half hours to get ready. Chances were that I’d spend about 3 hours of that trying to figure out what I was going to wear.
I Need You

Sure enough, at 7 on the dot, the doorbell rang. I practically ran down the stairs when I heard it. My parents were talking to him, probably making sure I wasn’t going to end up with the wrong crowd…… again.
I smiled when we got to the final destination. We were going ice skating. To me, it seemed like an original idea. I mean, usually my friends always talked about how great the movie was, or what they had for dinner. No one ever mentioned ice skating.
While we were getting the ice skates, I wondered how this date would turn out. I mean, being social is not my strongest point. As we were lacing up our skates, he asked, “I hope you don’t mind, but, I am the least coordinated person on ice skates.” He said with seriousness, but I heard a hint of joking.
I laughed, “That’s ok, if you don’t mind me being the one person who’s always falling.” I said to him.
He smiled, “We’ll see about that.” He has a mischievous smile on his face when he said that. I gave him a quizitive look, I almost wanted to ask, but shook it out of my head.
“I guess so.” I tried to have the same smile, but I probably failed to make it look like I was going to do something.
Ever since I learned how to ice skate, I’ve always loved the feeling of that first step onto the ice. Testing your balance, at first mistrusting the thin blades, and then finally, being able to glide smoothly over the ice.
Unlike all the other times I’ve ice skated, it was only five minutes since I had first stepped onto the ice and I was already helping someone up off the ice (for the first time, my date). As I was helping him up, I saw that smile and he pulled me down onto the ice with him.
Normally, I would’ve been mad, but, for some reason, I started to laugh. Maybe because the fact that I had totally fallen for it or that I had imagined that scenario as I was lacing my skates. “Alright, I’m not helping you up again.” I joked as I grabbed the wall and helped myself up.
He gave me a small pout, “Aw. Why not?” he asked and helped himself up, as well.
I couldn’t help but smile at the pathetic face he was making, “’cause if I do, I’ll end up on the ice, too! Well… if anything like the last moment is anything is to go by…” I trailed off slowly. Then I realized something about the past months. I’m happy now, I realized.
He looked at me, slightly concerned. “Are you ok?” he asked, and took my hand in his. He half smiled, as if it was going to make me feel better.
I smiled back at him, and nodded. “I’d take awhile to explain, but, before you asked me out, I was a very…uh… troubled person.” I said weakly, still not able to accept it just yet.
He nodded, “I kind of figured.” He said and pushed back the sleeve of my shirt to reveal the healing scars.
I blushed, “Yeah… long story, you see-”
“No. No need to explain. I think I understand. You see, my sister told me about you,” he said, choosing his words carefully.
I felt betrayed, almost. “I-I had poured my heart out to her, and this is what happens? Gosh that’s not cool. I should just stop trusting people.” I said and kept moving on, and then it all clicked in. I finally knew who this person was.
He followed me, “Actually, no, don’t stop trusting. She only told me because I had always wondered. She told me her experience, but, I felt like I needed more. But, after I heard the story, I was hooked. I had to learn more.” He told me and smiled.
I felt touched, “Oh. What were you wondering about? Why people hurt themselves or what? I guess I can forgive you.” I smiled back at him.
“I guess so,” He told me, “Thanks.”
We came to a door to get back to the bleachers, and sat down. “You see, there’s a lot that you don’t know, though. My dad has had a history of these things. It’s….almost…routine, so to say. Sometimes it’s hard, but, other times it is a welcome surprise. Sometimes I fight with him, but I fight with my mom more. It’s…hard. So, I guess I’ve tried to make myself,” I paused, trying to find the right word, “You know, not notice everything that goes on.” I tried to explain not so well.
He nodded, “I think I get it.” He put his hand on my knee, “I think you know the whole deal with my parents.”
I nodded, “Do you live with your grandparents or something?” I asked.
He nodded, “Correct. After the plane crash,” I heard his voice waver at the last bit. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him wipe away a tear.
I leaned over and gave him a hug, “It’s ok. I think I get it. Ok, well maybe not, but, so many deaths at once must be hard to handle.” I said sympathetically.
He looked at me, “An honest answer, that’s something I haven’t heard since the crash.” He smiled and took my hand once more. “I have an idea. If you don’t mind, I’d like to show you one of the best places to see the city. I bet it looks fabulous right now.” He told me.
I nodded, “Yeah. That sounds like a lot of fun!” as I stood up, I forgot that I was wearing skated and I almost tripped over the bench. I laughed as I caught my balance, “Now that was something I was expecting to happen on the ice.” I explained to Dave.
He smiled, and I saw he was trying (unsuccessfully) to stifle a laugh. “Alright, lets go!” he said, amidst the laughs.
I smiled and followed him and returned the rented skates quickly. I nodded thanks to the person behind the counter as we left. “Whew. That was fun!” I yelled over the wind that was whipping my hair into my face.
He nodded, “I agree. I love that. Movies or dinner is always overrated.”
I nodded vigorously. “I know! I see that someone else likes to have some originality. None of my friends have ever said anything about ice skating. I think they’re all too afraid of falling in front of so many people.” I told him
“Oh, and you’re not?” he gave me a small smile to let me know that he was joking.
“Of course I am. But at least I don’t let it get in my way of having fun. It’s how life is. You have to let go of your inhibitions every once and awhile.” I smiled.
After a little bit of walking, (much of it up hill) he asked me to close my eyes and trust him to lead me in the right direction. I only agreed if he could physically steer me.
He agreed and after some scary moments of blindness, he told me to open my eyes. Oh boy, it was the best thing ever. I never realized how big the city was until I actually saw it from up there. “Wow,” I breathed. “This is amazing.”
He nodded, “I know. Every time I come up here, I think the same thing. It’s a wonderful experience.”
I looked over at him, “Thank you. You’ve done something I didn’t think anyone could.” I looked up into the starry sky and whispered, “Thank you God” “What’s that?” he asked slowly.
“Well, about five months ago, my dad had gone to the hospital with a case of depression. Not the first time it’s happened, and it certainly won’t be the last. When I first started down the path of self-destruction, I felt like it was my way out of the hard times. After awhile, I figured, ‘You know? This isn’t the way!’ but, I continued anyway. When your sister came and talked to me, I realized that I needed God’s help. I prayed and hoped for a long time that someday I would find someone who would get my history, and understand, to an extent what I’ve been going through. I also hoped that I would find at least one guy who wouldn’t give me death glares as I passed by them in the hallway. Day after day it got harder to keep that hope.” I explained carefully, I knew he should have known some of this, but I had no idea what exactly his sister had told him.
He nodded slowly, “So, I guess I was the one to save you from… yourself, really. It’s hard. I know myself, I almost committed suicide. Your troubles always seem so hard. When you tell other people, they just blow you off and focus on what they think is important.” He took in a deep breath, “Which is usually themselves.”
I placed my hand on his and looked into his eyes, “Hey, at least we have each other to talk to now.” I said seriously, and then added, “Unless, of course, now you find me a really boring person with a not so cool sob-story that wants attentions and you want to ignore me.” I looked away, giving the sad impression. I tried to make it over the top ridiculous so that he could guess that I was kidding.
“Oh come on. Everyone has their sob-story. Some people just have one that’s a little more depressing. I happen to like what you’ve made yourself from your history. It’s nice how a person can do a total one-eighty with their life, especially when they mean it for good. No changing back whatsoever.” He smiled at me.
I looked back, happy now. “Optimism!” I shouted out cheerfully.
He looked at me, confused, “What…was… that?”
I smiled, “You were being optimistic about the whole ‘changing’ and ‘make yourself better than your past’ speech. It was the first thing I thought of when you finished talking.”
“You’re a nut.” He stated simply.
I stuck my tongue out at him, “As long as I’m a walnut, they’re my favorites.”
He just shook his head in reply. “Oh wow. I didn’t know anyone could ever be that random.” He paused, “No offense. I actually like random people. You have some very… interesting conversations.”
I nodded, “Totally true. If I even said anything like that to my parents, they’d be mad. They like straight forward answers. Just like any parent.” Then I winced, “Sorry. I forgot about the parent thing.”
“It’s ok. My grandparents are like that, too. If I even try to say anything funny or sarcastic, they take it literally. I guess parents don’t have any humor anymore.” He shrugged.
“Nah. Some do. But, that’s only if they’re under the age of like, 40 or something. I haven’t figured it out…yet.”
He laughed, “Sounds like you are on a mission to find the perfect parent or something.”
“What if I am?” I tried to sound innocent.
“Are you?”
“Of course not!” I paused, “Because, there is no such thing as a perfect parent.”
He smiled, “Of course not. But, nobody is perfect. Though, I think that once you find that special person, they are perfect in your eyes.”
I think I heard a hint of longing and, I also think it was his way of telling me that he actually liked me. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I asked quietly.
“And what could I possibly be saying?”
I paused, unsure of what to do next. “Uh-”
He cut me off, “Yes.” He whispered in my ear.
I was caught off-guard. “Really?” I asked, blushing. Though, at least it was dark out and he couldn’t see it.
“Of course. Why would I imply anything that I don’t mean?”
I smiled and nodded, “Thank you.” And I gave him a hug. “Not to be mean or anything, but, don’t you think it’s time for us to go back home?” I had no idea what the time was, but I knew my parents would be getting worried, even if they weren’t, I felt like I should’ve been getting home right about then.

Face Down

As I was walking up to the door, I heard the faint voices of my parents. They were fighting. Right then and there I should’ve been worried, but, I got the key from under the mat anyway. I turned the key in the lock and heard glass breaking. I stopped right there, frozen to the spot. Quickly, I glanced over my shoulder; he was still there, waiting for me to go in. Had he heard what was going on?
I waved for him to come over to the door. I whispered, “I can’t go in. Not yet. My parents are in there-fighting. I’m afraid.”
He immediately had a look of worry on his face, “Why don’t you come over to my house and you can stay there for awhile until you feel its safe.” He suggested.
I took the key out of the lock and placed it back under the mat, “Do you mind if we just watch from across the street, I think the fight is almost over. My dad will be leaving the house as soon as it is done.” I explained. I didn’t know for sure if that was true, but, it was better safe than sorry.
He nodded and took my hand. We walked across the street and waited quietly for awhile. I don’t know how long, but I saw my dad stomp out of the house and angrily get into the car. I watched as he drove off. I nodded and crept back to my house.
I tried the door, hoping it stayed unlocked. Sure enough, it was. I waved a good bye and watched him walk down the block. The first thing I saw when I got into the house was my mom, sobbing on the couch. Everything was in disarray. I was horrified. “Mom, what happened?” I asked, my voice catching in my throat. I knew already, though.
She looked up at me in surprise. “I thought… you had a date?” she half-asked in a quiet voice.
I nodded, “I did. But, it was really short. Sorry. What happened over here? That’s what I’m more worried about.”
She didn’t say anything; instead, she shook her head. “It’s hard to explain…” she trailed off.
I looked around the room, trying to see what could’ve been broken. No, the windows were fine, so was the TV screen. I shifted my weight, and heard a crunch under my foot. I looked down and gasped, “Your favorite vase!” I knew it was a silly thing to be worried about
She just looked at me, “That doesn’t matter right now. Can you just go… do your homework or something?” her voice was still wavering.
I nodded and ran up the stairs; it was not a good way to end the night. Something inside me knew I should tell someone else about it, but I was too in shock. They always seemed to work well together. I bit my lip to keep from crying. It was way too much to handle. I could only imagine what my mom was feeling.
I couldn’t take it, after about an hour of trying to do my social studies, I came back down stairs, only to see that my mom was putting on make up, as if she was going out. “Where are you going?” I asked, and tried to rack my brain for the conversation where she told me she was going to do something.
She looked at me, with blank eyes. “Out” was her simple reply. Normally, that would get on my nerves, but I let it slip tonight.
“Ok, well have fun.” I said blankly as I took a juice from the fridge. I heard the door lock click behind her. Quickly, I grabbed the phone and dialed my dad’s cell. I tapped my foot impatiently as it rang. He didn’t pick up and I was directed to voicemail. “Dad. I am really not pleased. How the heck could you do that? I used to look up to you. Now I see that it was pointless. I wasted years of my life trying to be what I thought my father was. Now I don’t want to.” I said bitterly and hung up when I was done.
I scarcely put the phone down when it rang again. “Please, don’t let it be dad,” I pleaded silently. I grabbed it and glanced at caller ID, “Hi?” I answered.
“Hey, Lola. I just wanted to say that you should probably call the police and report the fight. It seemed like you knew there was physical violence involved.”
I shook my head, “I know I should, but something is preventing me. And, my mom isn’t even home right now. I should’ve called sooner, but, she would’ve noticed. Sometime. Not now.”
“Yes, now, just do it. They don’t have to come over, just report it and maybe they can do something.”
I hung up, not wanting to argue. “No.” I said, chocking up. This wasn’t supposed to happen. We were supposed to be a good family. I had gotten over my problem, and so had my dad. Or so we thought.
I went back up to my room and flicked on the lights. I checked the time, and gulped. It was getting late. Oh well, I shrugged. I changed into PJ’s and climbed into bed. No sooner than I put my head down, my mom, or at least, I was guessing, came back home.
The next morning, I wearily came downstairs, as if something was going to jump out and kill me. One look told me that the living room hadn’t been touched. I grabbed a broom and swept it up. I threw away the tiny shards. I wished I could’ve moved the furniture back, but sadly, I was too weak.
There was the soft thud of footsteps on the stairs behind me. I whirled around, only to see my mom. “Hey,” I said quietly.
She nodded, “Hey honey. Thanks for sweeping up.”
“No problem.” I paused, “Where were you last night?” I asked, picking my words carefully.
“Out.”
“Well duh, out! But, where, out?” I asked.
She shook her head, like she couldn’t tell me. “It’s not the right time for me to tell you.” She said simply.
I wanted to shake the answer out of her, but, I couldn’t stand to see her like this. “Ok.” I murmured and stood next to her. “I just wish you didn’t have to go through all that pain.”
“It wasn’t his fault. I did it to myself.” She choked up a little.
I gave her a hug. “No, you did not.” I felt like there was some role reversal right then. Tears came to my eyes, too.
She gave me a hug, too. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I paused, collecting my thoughts. “If you really loved yourself, you would just get a divorce. It’s too much trouble to be getting into. No guy is worth this. I know you love him, but, if he loved you, would he really put you through all this pain? I can’t find a sensible reason why he should. It’s not fair to you.” I rambled slightly into her chest.
“That’s nice that you care so much, but, he’s not putting me through any sort of pain. It’s my emotion distress.”
I knew she was lying. “Bull. Crying or not, he’s putting you through something. He is the problem. Be truthful. I know he’s the problem.”
She hugged me closer, “It’s not your problem to deal with. It’s mine.” She stated simply.
I let go of my mom, “I’m too concerned. I can’t help but make this my problem. You’re my mom! Even though we fight, I still love you to pieces.” I reminded myself to call my dad again. Even if he got my last message, I needed to give him another one. I gulped and stepped back. “I’m going back to my room.” I said and ran up the stairs.
I grabbed my phone and dialed my dad’s number. Of course, he didn’t answer. “Dad, I know you got my last message. Stop pretending. We both know that she’s had enough.” I snapped my phone shut in disgust. I hugged my pillow, sobbing. This was too much too soon. I loved both of them. I couldn’t choose. Not at the moment, even though my mind was pretty much made up. I knew I had to support my mom. She was the one that was right in this situation. “How could you dad?” I sobbed. “Nothing good has come of you lately. I hope that you regret this. I sure hope that you know what you did wrong. I hope this tortures you mind and body forever!”
Every time we touch

The end of the year came by quickly. The summer months were coming, and I couldn’t wait. But, first, graduation. I protested loudly when my mom said she couldn’t make it. Of course, she said she would try. My dad was out of the house so much I forgot that he used to live there. So, I gathered my things and walked to a friend’s house. Getting ready there was a blast.
The seats were actually very comfy. I was hesitant to settle into mine, but, I did. I watched as everyone came in. It was eerie, the kids I went to school with, the people that I used to strive to be with, even, the people that cared about me. I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
I was startled to hear the principal say the opening words. Then, I knew I was going to be here awhile. Speeches and more speeches. Of course, I didn’t strive to make the best of grades, nor did I care to. If I was up there talking, I’d be less corny than everyone else. You really have to know suffering to inspire people.
Either way, I leapt out of my chair when my name was called. I shook hands with the principal and glanced out to the crowd as I took my diploma. My heart sunk a little. Mom wasn’t there. Of course, why would she? Dad, I had really let go. (Of course, it wasn’t until I had left hundreds of vicious and bitter voice mails)
As soon as the ceremony was over, students rushed out to their families, and families grinned with pride. I held back, trying to keep out of the way. It was no use, Dave had tracked me down. “Hey there! Don’t be so sad, Lola.” He said and hugged me.
I smiled, “Well, when your mom decided not to come to your most important event in your life so far, I can’t help but feel sad.”
“Well hey, that’s no reason to be sad.” He said and let go of me. “I can name many more reasons why you should be sad. At least you graduated. That’s good enough.”
I nodded, “Yeah. So, what do you plan to do for summer?” I asked, already planning mine: sleeping in, doing nothing, writing and swimming. If only I could set that in stone.
He shrugged, “My grandparents want to travel. Some places sounds like fun to visit. So, I might be gone for a good portion of the summer.” He said the last part with sadness.
I frowned, “You leave tomorrow, don’t you?” I asked.
He nodded, “Yeah. I really didn’t want to tell you do close to the departure, but, I just kept putting it off. Sorry.”
I sighed, “It’s ok. As long as you keep in touch, it won’t matter.” I said.
That night, once I hit my pillow, I fell asleep. As usual, I forgot to turn my alarm off, so I was fumbling around to hit and groaned. “The first day of summer and I’m up way too early.” I said to my pillow. Sighing, I threw off the covers and checked out the window. Nothing too unusual happening outside. Now, only to find something to actually do.
I turned my tablet on. It seemed like I was staring at the loading screen for forever. Yawning, I typed in my password for my account and went to the bathroom while I waited for it to load. I was glad that I didn’t have anywhere to go… yet. My hair was a mess and it didn’t want to be brushed.
The rest of my day seemed to fly by. I had an idea. For writing, of course. I hardly went downstairs, only to get some food. Of course, my mom wasn’t there. I stopped caring if she was around. As long as I had a house, food and clothes, it didn’t matter if she was there for me.
By the time I fell asleep, my mom had only been home for an hour. If this was how summer was going to be, I’d rather go to school year round. I just missed Dave the most, though. I had planned to do so much with him.
Repeat the process of the first day of summer (minus the alarm clock) and you get what happened for two weeks. It was no wonder I started to lose weight and started to look pale. Finally, I decided to go out. Just walk around the block to see what was going on. How other people were.
With the way I was looking, it was no surprise that no one approached me. I stopped by the post office. I had meant to write him a postcard, but, I didn’t have the address he was staying at. I already ran what I was going to say to him through my mind.
I asked the person at the front desk if there was a letter for me. Lately, mom hasn’t been bringing the mail in or at least, mail for me. Was she hiding something? I knew Dave would write to me as soon as he could. Maybe I was just being paranoid. Either way, no letter for me, yet.
I thought back to the school year. When had we become, couple-y? It was weird; I hadn’t noticed that, until now. I needed to pay more attention to my emotions. Of course, I was happy when I saw him, and whenever he smiled or looked at me, I couldn’t help but smile back.
I stopped by the library to check my e-mail. There was an off chance that he e-mailed me. Nope. Though, I did re-read the last e-mail he sent. I couldn’t help but smile. I stopped caring because he really did want to have fun. I should too. Only, I needed people to have fun with. I walked back to my house and got the mail. Nothing. I sighed, “Why.” I grumbled as I began to write a letter to Dave. (to be sent once he mails me, of course). I signed it off and put it under my pillow.
Not giving up on summer fun, I went back outside. I shoved my hands in my pockets, and tried to create a laid-back, ‘I don’t have anywhere to be’ look. A girl from my class came up to me as I walked around the park. “Hey Lola! Want to come to a party tonight?” I must’ve hesitated because she said, “Come on, I’m offering. It’s going to be fun!” she said as enthusiastically as she could.
I smiled, “Sure, I’d love to come.”
“Great! I’ll come by your house around 7.” She said.
I nodded, and walked back home. It was 4 o’clock. “Thanks!” I shouted. I really wondered how it was going to go. It’s been awhile since I was in the party scene. The everlasting battle of casual or formal came up. In the end, I went casual.
When it was 6:45, I was writing a note to my mom. I didn’t care if she was going to be worried or not. I bit the end of the pen and figured that I should take my phone too. Signing the note, I grabbed my phone from the charger and slipped on a jacket.
7 came around and the doorbell rang. I practically ran to get it. “Hey.” I said.
“Ready to go?” she asked.
I nodded, “Ready as I’ll ever be.” I said and closed the door behind me.
We walked all the way to the party. It was obvious we were late. Oh well. The only thing that bothered me was that the girl left me once we got in the house. I wandered around, probably looking very stupid. Sighing, I sat on the couch. It wasn’t much different from when I did have something better to do. I was no one, the invisible person in the crowd. Which was why I was surprised when a guy sat down next to me and offered me a drink. I accepted and started to talk with him.
By the end of the night, I had a good time, and had plans for tomorrow. It was great. I walked back to my house, it was getting chilly outside. I knew before I opened the door that there was going to be trouble, though. My dad’s car was in the driveway. I gulped and opened the door.
He frowned, “Lola. I called you.” He said grimly.
I took out my phone and checked, “Oh. I’m sorry! It was loud, and I couldn’t hear. I-I really am sorry.” I said, afraid of what might happen.
He took a step forward, “When I call, I expect to have an answer. No if, ands or buts.” He told me and gripped my wrist. Hard. “And, don’t talk back. Or else, you might end up like your mom.” He sneered.
“But-” I didn’t have anytime to say anything else. He had slapped me. I could feel the spot where he hit me sting. Tears began to well up in my eyes. I wormed out of his grip. “You’re a monster! You know that?” I asked and ran out the front door. My tears blinded me, so I ran wherever my legs would take me.

I’m With You

I collapsed on a bench. Of course, it could’ve been worse, but, I couldn’t handle it, not yet. It was cold out, of course. I shivered in my jacket, and sniffled a little bit. The sky rumbled with thunder, “Oh no.” I sighed. I sat there and hoped that someone would be worried. Of course, no one was going to be outside at this time. Who would? I was about to go back, but, something inside me didn’t let me. I thought it would’ve been for my own good if I stayed in the park.
I shivered once more as the rain started to fall down. It was pouring down. Anyone with sense would’ve gotten home. I had lost my sense a long time ago. I wanted to be free. I sniffled again and wiped my nose with my jacket sleeve. I seemed like forever since it had rained. “Why?” I moaned. I didn’t know what I was moaning about, but, it was the only thing that I could do. Maybe I was asking why my dad had to come back. Maybe I was asking why I had to have this kind of life. I don’t know
I thought long and hard about what my life had entailed, and what I did. I felt hopeless as I went over my actions. I regretted everything I had done before. It was awhile before I heard footsteps. I was half-asleep and shivering by that time, anyway.
“Hey there.” I heard a voice. I didn’t know who it was, or why they were talking to me. It didn’t matter.
“Hi.” I mumbled.
The person took a seat next to me. “What’s a girl like you doing in a park this late?” they asked.
I turned and looked the person in the face, or at least, what I hoped was their face. “It’s… complicated.” I stated quietly
They took my hand in theirs, “Well, I can’t say I’ll understand, but, why don’t you tell me?”
I took my hand away from theirs, “I’d rather not tell my whole life story to a stranger I can’t even see.” I told them.
The person shrugged, “Ok, but, I’d like to show you something.” They said and got up from the bench. They took a few steps forward.
“Ok.” I murmured and got up after them, and followed.
Following was hard, especially since it was pitch black out and I was getting tired. Eventually, the person stopped. I had no idea where I was, but, I kept on walking. When I realized that I didn’t know where I was going, I searched frantically for the person who led me here. I sank down onto the ground.
I didn’t fall asleep. It didn’t matter how tired I was. All I wanted was to stay alive, and, making sure of your surroundings is a big part of that. I heard footsteps every now and then, but, nothing too alarming. I wanted desperately to know where I was. Just so I could know where to start walking home, or a friend to take me. I snorted at the idea. No friend would take me in this early… or late. Time was also a thing I would’ve liked to know. I was getting sick of being alone. Before, I had loved it and wished everyone would. Now, all I wanted was someone next to me, to get me up and take me home.
I got up and started going whichever way I could pick out. I could only start seeing outlines, which meant that it was getting closer to sunrise. Or, that I was getting used to the darkness. I stumbled upon something… or someone.
The person I tripped over got up and said in a gruff voice, “Look missy. I don’t know where you’re from, but, in this area, people like to sleep! I suggest you get outta here, and never come back!” his voice got progressively louder.
I backed away, “Yes, sir. I promise!” and ran off into the darkness. Panting, I slowed down; I didn’t know where I was. Maybe I was getting closer to home, or maybe further.
I decided to catch my breath. I saw the sun slowly start to come over the horizon. With that little bit of light streaming through, I managed to figure out which way to go. I gulped and kept walking. What a sight I must’ve been. Only awhile later, I was walking down the poorer part of town. I knew this was a bad place to walk. Who knows what kind of people are down here?
Only minutes after I had walked in, a girl came up to me. In a low hushed voice, she asked, “Do you got any money?”
I looked her over; she was a teen, for sure. Her face seemed to be pleading. I saw something in her hand. I wasn’t sure what to say. Of course, I did have money, but, to give it away at this moment, didn’t feel right. I nodded feebly.
“How much?” she asked me.
I counted in my head, not very much, considering I left most of it at home. I searched out my pockets and came up with $10. “Here.” I said and held out the ten dollars.
She took the money and handed me the bag she was holding, “Thanks.” She said and ran off happily, as if she won the lottery.
I was puzzled, but, moved on quicker. I did not want a repeat. I stuffed the bag in my pocket and soon was on the familiar block of houses I had grown up with. Before I knew it, I was at my house. I check the driveway, no cars. Carefully, I opened the door.
I slid past the small opening and started up the stairs. I hoped that my mom had already gotten to work and my dad was off somewhere. Anywhere really. Mom couldn’t be that nice to let dad come back into our lives just like that.
I was desperate for sleep. I collapsed on my bed. Not taking off my clothes, or going under the covers. Just closed my eyes and tried to get some rest.